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Re: Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals? - P.O.G - 02-24-2013
Hi, I was wondering if negative experiences or negative reinforcements could slow down or nullify the effect of the subliminals?
I ask this because, I have been listening to the overcome erectile dysfunction subliminal for about 6 days now, and was having some good experiences, like morning wood (though not very hard or strong) for the first few times in ages, and when making out I had a full erection throughout the duration and was feeling pretty sexually confident, so I attempted sex a few nights later with a lady, and it was a bad experience because I could not get fully hard to penetrate properly. And this played on my mind since, and it's knocked my sexual confidence once again. So I feel like the positivity and confidence gained from the good experiences have been outweighed by the one bad experience, and has got me feeling anxious and negative again.
Will these kind of experiences slow down the effect of the subliminals in any way or impact it?
I think I may start a journal of me listening the subliminal messages.
Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals? - ShanghaiKiwi - 02-24-2013
Sounds fairly normal. Stick at it bro, its only been a week. The more you hear it, the stronger it'll be, and the less effect that mind-crap will have on you. I hate winter, cos my wife complains about the cold a lot in bed, which can kill the mood pretty severely. Nothing less sexy than damn whingeing.
I bought that sub and used it with female orgasm enhancer for, I can't remember, a fortnight or so - they're both fantastic - but opted for my wife's breast enlargement as soon as the problem was fully gone. I wish I spent longer at it because after 5 months of not using it, the problem kind of came back (though not as strong as originally, I'm usually fine) - if I had spent a month on it, than I have the confidence I could spend a year or more on other subs without the problem returning.
One thing - if you can get over the anxiety and show her a good time in other ways, there's a chance you'll get restored. If you just forget about it and enjoy giving her head (excuse my frankness) then you'll probably be ready before you're done. If not, at least she'll enjoy it and want more later. I found that being miserable about it was not attractive to my wife, she didn't really care as much as I did.
RE: - Shannon - 02-24-2013
If it impacts you so negatively, it is probably better to use the program for 32 to 90 days before attempting sex so that doesn't happen. It will slow does the effects, as you are as you said negatively affecting them by doing that. But the subliminal will overcome that regardless, especially if used for sufficient time. It will just take longer if you do that.
RE: - P.O.G - 02-24-2013
(02-24-2013, 10:02 AM)Shannon Wrote: If it impacts you so negatively, it is probably better to use the program for 32 to 90 days before attempting sex so that doesn't happen. It will slow does the effects, as you are as you said negatively affecting them by doing that. But the subliminal will overcome that regardless, especially if used for sufficient time. It will just take longer if you do that.
Thank you very much for your response Shannon. So what you are saying is that these negative experiences will basically take me a step back. In theory 2 steps forward one step backward?
As for not attempting in sex for 32 - 90 days, I would love nothing more than for to do this but I currently cannot. I have a girlfriend and she does not know about my issue as it has only come on quite recently (past few months) from a negative experience that I had with her where basically my penis was not responding or going up at all for whatever reason (though she does not know how this experience has effected me), so since then I have been putting off from penetrative sex and making excuses, etc, and she is really putting pressure on me for it now, and has booked a penthouse suite for her birthday, and is expecting penetrative sex, so it is unavoidable but I am really anxious about failing, which in my current mindset and having not gone through the whole recommended time of listening to the OED subliminal recording will probably happen.
I know that you cannot provide any medical help (although I have been medically checked out and I am perfectly fine) but would the use of viagra for one or two nights be advisable so that I do not fail to 'get up' and not create further negative experiences? These would only be used one or two times while I use your subliminal recording to fix my subconscious erectile anxiety issues? I have never used them before by the way.
Thanks Shannon
RE: Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals? - P.O.G - 02-24-2013
(02-24-2013, 05:00 AM)brad1984mason Wrote: Sounds fairly normal. Stick at it bro, its only been a week. The more you hear it, the stronger it'll be, and the less effect that mind-crap will have on you. I hate winter, cos my wife complains about the cold a lot in bed, which can kill the mood pretty severely. Nothing less sexy than damn whingeing.
I bought that sub and used it with female orgasm enhancer for, I can't remember, a fortnight or so - they're both fantastic - but opted for my wife's breast enlargement as soon as the problem was fully gone. I wish I spent longer at it because after 5 months of not using it, the problem kind of came back (though not as strong as originally, I'm usually fine) - if I had spent a month on it, than I have the confidence I could spend a year or more on other subs without the problem returning.
One thing - if you can get over the anxiety and show her a good time in other ways, there's a chance you'll get restored. If you just forget about it and enjoy giving her head (excuse my frankness) then you'll probably be ready before you're done. If not, at least she'll enjoy it and want more later. I found that being miserable about it was not attractive to my wife, she didn't really care as much as I did.
Thank you for your input Brad, it is very much appreciated. I have given you rep for your answer.
So it took you two weeks of listening to the subliminal to see a positive effect? That's really good. Especially if you were listening to another subliminal alongside it. Where the effects gradual? What were the first improvements that you had noticed?
I have realized that when I am texting my girlfriend naughty texts back and fourth that I do develop an erection, but it subsides quite quickly.
RE: - Shannon - 02-24-2013
(02-24-2013, 11:18 AM)adotd Wrote:(02-24-2013, 10:02 AM)Shannon Wrote: If it impacts you so negatively, it is probably better to use the program for 32 to 90 days before attempting sex so that doesn't happen. It will slow does the effects, as you are as you said negatively affecting them by doing that. But the subliminal will overcome that regardless, especially if used for sufficient time. It will just take longer if you do that.
Thank you very much for your response Shannon. So what you are saying is that these negative experiences will basically take me a step back. In theory 2 steps forward one step backward?
As for not attempting in sex for 32 - 90 days, I would love nothing more than for to do this but I currently cannot. I have a girlfriend and she does not know about my issue as it has only come on quite recently (past few months) from a negative experience that I had with her where basically my penis was not responding or going up at all for whatever reason (though she does not know how this experience has effected me), so since then I have been putting off from penetrative sex and making excuses, etc, and she is really putting pressure on me for it now, and has booked a penthouse suite for her birthday, and is expecting penetrative sex, so it is unavoidable but I am really anxious about failing, which in my current mindset and having not gone through the whole recommended time of listening to the OED subliminal recording will probably happen.
I know that you cannot provide any medical help (although I have been medically checked out and I am perfectly fine) but would the use of viagra for one or two nights be advisable so that I do not fail to 'get up' and not create further negative experiences? These would only be used one or two times while I use your subliminal recording to fix my subconscious erectile anxiety issues? I have never used them before by the way.
Thanks Shannon
It sounds to me like you place a huge amount of importance on this, and you are beating yourself up for it. If that's the case, you're probably creating a vicious cycle: you didn't get it up, so you feel like less of a man, so you get anxious and beat yourself up, which blocks you from getting it up...
The good news is, if there's nothing physically wrong with you, it's purely psychological and that means the program will work for you. You just have to use it long enough, and for enough time.
Have you considered talking to your girlfriend about what's going on with you? Is she the type who would be understanding? There are other ways to give a woman pleasure, too. I think some communication might take a lot of pressure off you and really could help a lot.
As for Viagra, I cannot give out medical advice. Since Viagra is a medication, for me to advise you to take it or not to take it would be giving out medical advice. So I will leave that situation up to you and your physician to decide.
I suggest you stop worrying so much about it. Less you worry, the less upset you get, the better it will be and the faster the program will work
Can negative experiences... - ShanghaiKiwi - 02-24-2013
(02-24-2013, 02:14 PM)Shannon Wrote: I suggest you stop worrying so much about it. Less you worry, the less upset you get, the better it will be and the faster the program will work
Thats really true adotd, Shannon's absolutely right. My first time, what could have been merely one night spoiled from jetlag (21 hours of flying can do that) became 3 weeks for me because I got so upset about it and took myself so damn seriously. But no woman wants to see their man moping about it, and have to comfort them. If you can shrug it off and show her a good time anyway, she won't be nearly as bothered about it as you are, trust me.
My first improvements, I guess, were in the morning. But it wasn't slow - i started seeing small results quickly and then better ones. However at this stage I didn't have so much emotional baggage about it like I had a year or so earlier when it first happened. It wasn't the end of the world so to speak, just an annoying inconcenience when I wanted to get laid. That was my feeling when I started the sub and I think it helped fix it a lot quicker.
S**t I just realised, all of this is going on the internet. I don't want to introduce this forum to my friends, lol! Maybe, adotd, after you've read all this and finished with it, you can delete the thread?
RE: - P.O.G - 02-24-2013
(02-24-2013, 02:14 PM)Shannon Wrote:(02-24-2013, 11:18 AM)adotd Wrote:(02-24-2013, 10:02 AM)Shannon Wrote: If it impacts you so negatively, it is probably better to use the program for 32 to 90 days before attempting sex so that doesn't happen. It will slow does the effects, as you are as you said negatively affecting them by doing that. But the subliminal will overcome that regardless, especially if used for sufficient time. It will just take longer if you do that.
Thank you very much for your response Shannon. So what you are saying is that these negative experiences will basically take me a step back. In theory 2 steps forward one step backward?
As for not attempting in sex for 32 - 90 days, I would love nothing more than for to do this but I currently cannot. I have a girlfriend and she does not know about my issue as it has only come on quite recently (past few months) from a negative experience that I had with her where basically my penis was not responding or going up at all for whatever reason (though she does not know how this experience has effected me), so since then I have been putting off from penetrative sex and making excuses, etc, and she is really putting pressure on me for it now, and has booked a penthouse suite for her birthday, and is expecting penetrative sex, so it is unavoidable but I am really anxious about failing, which in my current mindset and having not gone through the whole recommended time of listening to the OED subliminal recording will probably happen.
I know that you cannot provide any medical help (although I have been medically checked out and I am perfectly fine) but would the use of viagra for one or two nights be advisable so that I do not fail to 'get up' and not create further negative experiences? These would only be used one or two times while I use your subliminal recording to fix my subconscious erectile anxiety issues? I have never used them before by the way.
Thanks Shannon
It sounds to me like you place a huge amount of importance on this, and you are beating yourself up for it. If that's the case, you're probably creating a vicious cycle: you didn't get it up, so you feel like less of a man, so you get anxious and beat yourself up, which blocks you from getting it up...
The good news is, if there's nothing physically wrong with you, it's purely psychological and that means the program will work for you. You just have to use it long enough, and for enough time.
Have you considered talking to your girlfriend about what's going on with you? Is she the type who would be understanding? There are other ways to give a woman pleasure, too. I think some communication might take a lot of pressure off you and really could help a lot.
As for Viagra, I cannot give out medical advice. Since Viagra is a medication, for me to advise you to take it or not to take it would be giving out medical advice. So I will leave that situation up to you and your physician to decide.
I suggest you stop worrying so much about it. Less you worry, the less upset you get, the better it will be and the faster the program will work
Hi Shannon,
Yes you've described everything perfectly. The viscous cycle of not getting it up, feeling less like of a man, and fearing that if my girlfriend realises that she will leave me, as I really don't want to loose her, or face the embarrassment of her knowing, and then the anxiety that blocks the erection from happening.
I find it so bad that one isolated incident can trigger something so bad to happen, going from a very sexual young male, achieving erections through arousal, to this, what I am now. I have never ever been worried, anxious, unmanly, and stressed before in my life until this.
I'm really embarrassed to talk to her about it so I'll probably make up another really dramatic excuse to avoid sex, or just take the pill on a one off just to satisfy her (I'm going to book a doctors appointment today to see if that would be suitable).
I've been pleasing her in other ways to avoid penetrative sex ever since, but she now really wants penetrative sex, which is added pressure.
I contemplated using your overcome anxiety subliminal alongside the OED subliminal, but opted against it, because my anxiety spurs only from my erection issues, so once that is fixed, my anxiety and stress and worry will be gone as well. Also it would take longer for either to work if I used both at the same.
RE: Can negative experiences... - P.O.G - 02-25-2013
(02-24-2013, 03:33 PM)brad1984mason Wrote:(02-24-2013, 02:14 PM)Shannon Wrote: I suggest you stop worrying so much about it. Less you worry, the less upset you get, the better it will be and the faster the program will work
Thats really true adotd, Shannon's absolutely right. My first time, what could have been merely one night spoiled from jetlag (21 hours of flying can do that) became 3 weeks for me because I got so upset about it and took myself so damn seriously. But no woman wants to see their man moping about it, and have to comfort them. If you can shrug it off and show her a good time anyway, she won't be nearly as bothered about it as you are, trust me.
My first improvements, I guess, were in the morning. But it wasn't slow - i started seeing small results quickly and then better ones. However at this stage I didn't have so much emotional baggage about it like I had a year or so earlier when it first happened. It wasn't the end of the world so to speak, just an annoying inconcenience when I wanted to get laid. That was my feeling when I started the sub and I think it helped fix it a lot quicker.
S**t I just realised, all of this is going on the internet. I don't want to introduce this forum to my friends, lol! Maybe, adotd, after you've read all this and finished with it, you can delete the thread?
Hi Brad,
I agree, taking yourself seriously can really add on to it, but its hard to turn your brains thoughts off and just not think about it, so it gets worse and worse.
That's good you had such quick improvements (a bit like mine in a sense) , but I think I have a lot of emotional baggage that will probably slow results down for me, though I am optimistic, and the little results I have seen already are a positive sign. Hopefully more and larger ones are to come.
As for deleting the thread, I think that would be for Shannon or another admin to do? I don't think that I have the option to do this unfortunately. After Shannon replies to my last post to him, hopefully he could allow me time to save the thread to a word document to refer to later, then delete it. If not then maybe you could edit your posts?
Thanks
Re: Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals? - Shannon - 02-25-2013
I personally prefer that we don't delete threads unless the creator of the thread wants it deleted. Brad, if you don't want someone to see something, why don't you just either not post it, or delete it after it's read, and ask the OP to remove whatever from quoted materials later? Part of the value of this forum is for others who come along to read the experiences of the people here and to see their journey. Deleting threads is not good for that. Just don't share things you're not comfortable sharing online.
If you're worried about your girlfriend leaving you over this, it's not a good sign that you have a good woman, or a good, healthy relationship. If she's a good woman, she'll understand. If she's not, why are you with her? Approaching from fear like this is a bad way to deal with a situation, because it breeds lies (as you are ding in avoiding dealing with your issue, deception by omission) and there is no relationship on earth that can survive lies and stay healthy. I still think you need to talk to her, especially if she loves (or at least genuinely cares about) you. How old are you and she, by the way?
RE: Re: Can negative... - ShanghaiKiwi - 02-25-2013
Its cool. I wrote it thinking nothing about it, and then after he gave me rep i was like "why did he do that?" and it occured to me that "oh - most people wouldn't admit to having experienced being impotent".
Nah its cool, leave it there.
For sure adotd, i know what thats like. I'll PM you.
RE: Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals? - P.O.G - 02-27-2013
(02-25-2013, 12:57 AM)Shannon Wrote: I personally prefer that we don't delete threads unless the creator of the thread wants it deleted. Brad, if you don't want someone to see something, why don't you just either not post it, or delete it after it's read, and ask the OP to remove whatever from quoted materials later? Part of the value of this forum is for others who come along to read the experiences of the people here and to see their journey. Deleting threads is not good for that. Just don't share things you're not comfortable sharing online.
If you're worried about your girlfriend leaving you over this, it's not a good sign that you have a good woman, or a good, healthy relationship. If she's a good woman, she'll understand. If she's not, why are you with her? Approaching from fear like this is a bad way to deal with a situation, because it breeds lies (as you are ding in avoiding dealing with your issue, deception by omission) and there is no relationship on earth that can survive lies and stay healthy. I still think you need to talk to her, especially if she loves (or at least genuinely cares about) you. How old are you and she, by the way?
I guess that saying she would leave me was a bit extreme, because I have no doubt that she loves me, and vice versa, but it is such a touchy and embarrassing subject for me. Like now I feel like I am not good enough, and that I can no longer fully satisfy her. Before the one night where I could not manage to rise to the occasion, our sex life was fantastic in every aspect. It is still ok now (I've been pleasuring her in different ways), though I constantly make excuses why I cannot penetrate her, she really really want's penetrative sex again now. I am 21 years old and she is 22.
RE: Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals? - P.O.G - 02-28-2013
(02-25-2013, 12:57 AM)Shannon Wrote: I personally prefer that we don't delete threads unless the creator of the thread wants it deleted. Brad, if you don't want someone to see something, why don't you just either not post it, or delete it after it's read, and ask the OP to remove whatever from quoted materials later? Part of the value of this forum is for others who come along to read the experiences of the people here and to see their journey. Deleting threads is not good for that. Just don't share things you're not comfortable sharing online.
If you're worried about your girlfriend leaving you over this, it's not a good sign that you have a good woman, or a good, healthy relationship. If she's a good woman, she'll understand. If she's not, why are you with her? Approaching from fear like this is a bad way to deal with a situation, because it breeds lies (as you are ding in avoiding dealing with your issue, deception by omission) and there is no relationship on earth that can survive lies and stay healthy. I still think you need to talk to her, especially if she loves (or at least genuinely cares about) you. How old are you and she, by the way?
Sorry Shannon but I have another couple of questions for you,
Why after one negative experience would my subconscious effect me so badly in this department? I mean directly after, and still up to this day I am anxious about it all, have a lot of fear and negativity about intercourse and my ED now, and negative self talk and images take up most of my thoughts throughout the days. Why could this be? And this can't be beneficial for the OED recording? Or will it still be effective.
I mean I have had quite a few sexual partners before this (casual encounters), and have been totally fine, although there were a few occasional times where I couldn't get it up, but it didn't effect me in the slightest bit. Is it because this particular female is my first proper serious girlfriend, so I have emotional attachments to her?
And hopefully this is my final question, in regards to the results of the OED subliminal message, will the results just come on when I initiate intercourse? e.g gain and remain hard during? Or will I feel my anxieties and other underlying issues go away first? I would imagine that the physical changes would occur first even if my anxieties and negative thinking remain in the concious mind, as the subconcious mind will be reconditioned to have gotten rid of my erectile difficulties, and if I have been informed right, the subconcious mind always wins?
Once again apologies for all of the questions Shannon
RE: Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals? - Shannon - 02-28-2013
Quote:Sorry Shannon but I have another couple of questions for you,
Why after one negative experience would my subconscious effect me so badly in this department? I mean directly after, and still up to this day I am anxious about it all, have a lot of fear and negativity about intercourse and my ED now, and negative self talk and images take up most of my thoughts throughout the days. Why could this be? And this can't be beneficial for the OED recording? Or will it still be effective.
If it is indeed your subconscious mind doing this, and not a combination of conscious and subconscious, you are entering a situation in which a fear has been tripped, and if you know fear as well as I do, you know that fear tends to snowball without help. It gets to be ridiculous, and sometimes over the smallest things. Yesterday I was fighting with myself over getting a refund for something, which I had been putting off for days because for some reason I was afraid to get a refund... ridiculous, right? And I had built it up in my head that this was going to be terrible. When I called BS on my fear and pushed through, it was literally effortless, as I (rationally) knew it would be.
You appear to have a major fear of not being good enough or masculine enough based on a woman's perception of your sexual abilities, tied specifically to your basic ability to achieve an erection. Just as women are much more likely to be receptive to sex if they are emotionally open to and comfortable with it, so are men. If you are fearing that she will leave you, destroy your reputation, criticize you, etc. then why would you want to run the risk?
Your subconscious is in effect saying, "I'm not going to cooperate, if you try this, she'll hurt us."
But, being emotionally focused as it is, it is also being irrational, and does not realize that by cooperating, the problem goes away!
And if you don't think this happens to a lot of men, you're seriously mistaken. People don't understand that men are just as emotionally aware, and sensitive, and valid as women are. I think that's part of why so many women are critical of men.
But if your girlfriend would do anything along those lines, perhaps you have the wrong woman? A good woman, and a good relationship, won't have issues like that to deal with, because the couple trusts one another and has a deeply personal, intimate bond. That's why I suggested communicating to her about what's going on.
The anxiety isn't helping the subliminal, no, but it will still be effective with enough use. Although I think I am going to rebuild it today in 4G with OGSF included in it. I think you would benefit significantly from that.
Quote:I mean I have had quite a few sexual partners before this (casual encounters), and have been totally fine, although there were a few occasional times where I couldn't get it up, but it didn't effect me in the slightest bit. Is it because this particular female is my first proper serious girlfriend, so I have emotional attachments to her?
If you've had lovers before, but never a serious girlfriend, you are exploring relational intimacy and vulnerability for the first time, and that can be scary, especially where it bumps up against perceptions of potential inferiority that cause insecurity and fear. But if you don't make yourself vulnerable to her, and vice versa, you cannot have a serious relationship because it doesn't work that way. Serious includes intimacy, and intimacy requires vulnerability.
Quote:And hopefully this is my final question, in regards to the results of the OED subliminal message, will the results just come on when I initiate intercourse? e.g gain and remain hard during? Or will I feel my anxieties and other underlying issues go away first? I would imagine that the physical changes would occur first even if my anxieties and negative thinking remain in the concious mind, as the subconcious mind will be reconditioned to have gotten rid of my erectile difficulties, and if I have been informed right, the subconcious mind always wins?
Once again apologies for all of the questions Shannon
The results will depend on how your subconscious interprets the instructions. It could go either way. But yes, the subconscious always wins in the end, so if the subconscious gets the program running, you will have results regardless.