Alpha to Omega: Ronatello's Alpha Journey

[Majordomus]

I woke up feeling weird again... again heavy headed but that was okay. I know it's the sub and my brain is processing a lot of stuff as of now. I've decided on 35 days per stage. 35 days is 5 weeks so it's pretty easy to keep up on the calendar that way.
I got to talk to a new girl at the apartment complex swimming pool today. She actually said the first thing and we talked awhile so I enjoyed that. We exchanged names and I complimented her on her belly button ring (she had a 2 piece bikini on).
As far as my alpha effects are concerned, I'm getting just a bit more "mouthy", as I caught myself saying something rather brash at work today (but it made the others around me crack up laughing). Anyways, something was said about the new carpet being placed in the conference rooms of the hospital and the horrible colour the interior decorator chose for the movable wall panels (chicken sh*t yellow/brown) and I of course put my $.02 in. lol
I'm actually disgusted on the apparently lousy choice of colours being used. Well, the person resigned so maybe they will hire an interior design person that is NOT freakin' colour blind!!! I can only hope.

Lol. Once you start to not be able to help but speak your truth, you almost have to conciously watch what you say sometimes because the most offensive stuff can slip out...it's a lot of fun, though.

I had this period when I was experimenting with other video subliminals and some of them were about living in Truth no matter what and being straightforward.
I met this really cute girl and I blew it out fully, telling her most offensive stuff and anything that came. However, she started doing the same to me.
And we ended up cracking ourselves with laughter.
She was blown away by how indifferent I was (and different from anyone else): I completely did not care about how she is gonna respond, I just had fun with it.
She loved it. Felt liberated. Felt challenged. Felt alive. I called her a "whore". She called me a "motherfucking dickhead".
And we laughed and laughed.
Amidst all of that, I just leaned to her and kissed her. She was mesmerized by the freedom I was creating everywhere I went with her.
And she was absolutely adorable cute girl who had a boyfriend at the time.
When you read this, you might think to yourself "WTF?".
This is nothing like seduction/PUA tactics, it defies any common sense.
When you are spontaneous and real and act without fear, anything can happen.

I never build such a strong attraction with any other woman in years. She could not let me go, because at that time, I behaved absolutely fearless to other people. She almost became addicted to me and the novelty and liberation I was creating for her.
Her boyfriend found out and wanted to beat the shit out of me.
I was even contemplating going for it and fighting him.
But then my previous common sense kicked back.
For several weeks I lived without any fear.
I said anything I wanted on facebook.
I said anything I wanted to my family.
I said anything I wanted to some of my clients in work.
I did and said anything I wanted all the time.
I alienated quite a lot of my friends, my family and lost some clients.
Lost a lot of money. Quit school without finishing.
I did other crazy shit at that time. I behaved completely random, approached anyone I wanted, tried new things everyday, purposefully risking a lot.
And although it was all quite destructive in one sense, I never felt happier and more alive in my life.
I will never forget those moments.
But I do not think I will ever play those particular subliminals again and unleash myself like that.
One needs some plan and security. And I am scared again.
But the magic of those memories still haunts me...