10-04-2012, 08:38 AM
Just something that's been on my mind and really venting my frustrations. I've been suffering from social anxiety for, I don't know how long. All I know is when I hit my teens, I was at a loss of words and I couldn't describe how I felt to anyone.
And I recently read the difference between how men and women cope with depression. Women tend to seek emotional support, to vent their feelings to feel better. Whereas men look for a solution or distraction and are reluctant to talk about feelings. I think stuff like this just causes men to worry too much about seeking help or being perceived as weak. While the sexes are different, you can't deny that fact, we are all human and humans all have emotions. Ideally I think we should all come to a place where we are masters of our emotions, allowing them to be, but not being controlled by it. I think how the study said men and women cope with depression is wrong and largely a result of social conditioning. The stoic man who is independent and never has emotions. And the woman who cries over everything and needs her friends and is unable to be independent. They are two extremes, with no middle ground. I swear everything in life is about balance, but humans tend to favor the extremes or have trouble seeing between the black and white.
Anyway I just wanted to say that because for me I've found that talking about my feelings can only do so much. I'm open about my emotions, but when you have a problem that feels like a splinter you've been trying to dig out of your head for close to 10 years it gets incredibly frustrating. Am I fearful of judgement and incredibly self conscious? Yes, I admit that. But I don't want to talk about it and get into the depths of it because I'm aware of how irrational it really is. To me I'm beginning to see more and more how this is tied to trauma as a kid and really bad impressions that made a profound impact on my subconscious mind. I set up this defense mechanism to protect myself, but it's not serving it's purpose any longer and it inhibits me. That's why I hate when people say "I was bullied and I became stronger from it or turned out fine". Yeah well let's not forget that people are individuals and how one reacts may not be the same as the other. This is why I think people tend to think that life events don't shape them as much as they really do.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is the last therapist I went to and described this problem, his solution was to get out more. Yeah, I get it I have to push past the fear. But let's be honest. Social anxiety isn't a normal thing. Maybe a little nervousness or self consciousness, but full blown anxiety, no I refuse to accept that. I feel like this is my situation. I've got a broken bone, I go to a doctor, I just want a cast so my bones can reset properly and be fixed. But instead the doctor wants to analyze far beyond what caused it. So let's say I broke it skateboarding, he'd ask me why I started skateboarding in the first place, what events in my prior life could have caused my fascination with skateboarding, when the first time I started skateboarding, etc. It sounds ridiculous, but I feel like that's what happens every time I go to a therapist. There is no doubt in my mind that some individuals really don't know what's wrong with them and talking helps, but when you know what's wrong it just makes it that much more frustrating when you feel like you can't change the behavior on your own. It's almost like living with chronic pain that nobody can treat.
But I've said it about a million different times. I'm so thankful for these subliminals. They just cut right to the root issue. And yeah you gotta put your own effort into it and keep trying to grow. I've always known on some level how all my anxious behavior in the past was almost on autopilot and I knew there was something deeper going on. I think right now the trend in psychology is that our thoughts affect our emotions. Which while true, you also have to address where the negative thoughts are coming from. Negative thoughts don't just pop out of thin air, they have a source. Like weeds, you have to get to the roots otherwise they'll grow back. I've experienced this first hand, those thoughts have a tendency to creep back in, sometimes in a different manner so stealthily you don't realize it.
I can only hope that medication for mental illness is slowly phased out and different options are explored more thoroughly. Or at the very least more research going into the medication they give people instead of guessing and using people as human guinea pigs. I find that most people that do struggle from depression, like serious depression, are usually very strong willed and try very hard to overcome it without medication. Unfortunately, there exists the individuals that just want their happy pill because they are unwilling to examine their own life and doctors readily hand these out like candy because they make money from it. It's ironic that the individuals who need it the most tend to avoid it, while the individuals that don't need it are content to just take them.
I guess that was my rant for today. I just kind of feel like I'm on the right path. Like this is the way to go. And all the naysayers and skeptics about subliminals, well that's their loss. I believe in the future this stuff is really gonna take off or at least being able to gain access to your mind like a computer and remove the "viruses" so to speak.
And I recently read the difference between how men and women cope with depression. Women tend to seek emotional support, to vent their feelings to feel better. Whereas men look for a solution or distraction and are reluctant to talk about feelings. I think stuff like this just causes men to worry too much about seeking help or being perceived as weak. While the sexes are different, you can't deny that fact, we are all human and humans all have emotions. Ideally I think we should all come to a place where we are masters of our emotions, allowing them to be, but not being controlled by it. I think how the study said men and women cope with depression is wrong and largely a result of social conditioning. The stoic man who is independent and never has emotions. And the woman who cries over everything and needs her friends and is unable to be independent. They are two extremes, with no middle ground. I swear everything in life is about balance, but humans tend to favor the extremes or have trouble seeing between the black and white.
Anyway I just wanted to say that because for me I've found that talking about my feelings can only do so much. I'm open about my emotions, but when you have a problem that feels like a splinter you've been trying to dig out of your head for close to 10 years it gets incredibly frustrating. Am I fearful of judgement and incredibly self conscious? Yes, I admit that. But I don't want to talk about it and get into the depths of it because I'm aware of how irrational it really is. To me I'm beginning to see more and more how this is tied to trauma as a kid and really bad impressions that made a profound impact on my subconscious mind. I set up this defense mechanism to protect myself, but it's not serving it's purpose any longer and it inhibits me. That's why I hate when people say "I was bullied and I became stronger from it or turned out fine". Yeah well let's not forget that people are individuals and how one reacts may not be the same as the other. This is why I think people tend to think that life events don't shape them as much as they really do.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is the last therapist I went to and described this problem, his solution was to get out more. Yeah, I get it I have to push past the fear. But let's be honest. Social anxiety isn't a normal thing. Maybe a little nervousness or self consciousness, but full blown anxiety, no I refuse to accept that. I feel like this is my situation. I've got a broken bone, I go to a doctor, I just want a cast so my bones can reset properly and be fixed. But instead the doctor wants to analyze far beyond what caused it. So let's say I broke it skateboarding, he'd ask me why I started skateboarding in the first place, what events in my prior life could have caused my fascination with skateboarding, when the first time I started skateboarding, etc. It sounds ridiculous, but I feel like that's what happens every time I go to a therapist. There is no doubt in my mind that some individuals really don't know what's wrong with them and talking helps, but when you know what's wrong it just makes it that much more frustrating when you feel like you can't change the behavior on your own. It's almost like living with chronic pain that nobody can treat.
But I've said it about a million different times. I'm so thankful for these subliminals. They just cut right to the root issue. And yeah you gotta put your own effort into it and keep trying to grow. I've always known on some level how all my anxious behavior in the past was almost on autopilot and I knew there was something deeper going on. I think right now the trend in psychology is that our thoughts affect our emotions. Which while true, you also have to address where the negative thoughts are coming from. Negative thoughts don't just pop out of thin air, they have a source. Like weeds, you have to get to the roots otherwise they'll grow back. I've experienced this first hand, those thoughts have a tendency to creep back in, sometimes in a different manner so stealthily you don't realize it.
I can only hope that medication for mental illness is slowly phased out and different options are explored more thoroughly. Or at the very least more research going into the medication they give people instead of guessing and using people as human guinea pigs. I find that most people that do struggle from depression, like serious depression, are usually very strong willed and try very hard to overcome it without medication. Unfortunately, there exists the individuals that just want their happy pill because they are unwilling to examine their own life and doctors readily hand these out like candy because they make money from it. It's ironic that the individuals who need it the most tend to avoid it, while the individuals that don't need it are content to just take them.
I guess that was my rant for today. I just kind of feel like I'm on the right path. Like this is the way to go. And all the naysayers and skeptics about subliminals, well that's their loss. I believe in the future this stuff is really gonna take off or at least being able to gain access to your mind like a computer and remove the "viruses" so to speak.
