10-01-2012, 09:08 AM
A good friend, for whom I have great respect, said this morning, "Feelings are traitorous indicators." That provided me with some perspective on what I actually did, not what my ego tells me I should have done.
This weekend, I worked out, returned one pair of shoes, bought two more that I had planned to purchase, helped my son get some supplies to better organize his room at his mom's house, started cleaning my room, fixed the remote for my car, and did my laundry.
It is unusual for me to clean my room, and it's likely that this is something I'm resisting doing. Since childhood, I've always been content with a room that was messy as hell. I'm finding this to be less satisfactory lately, and have been feeling driven to clean it. I kept starting and stopping the work, with excuses or diversions. I moved into my room about three months ago, and my old shoes were still in a garbage bag. I've also got 6 boxes that are still inefficiently packed and some baskets that I'm not sure I'll use. I got myself a shoe rack, cleared out the garbage bags, and got my shoes neatly put away. I also picked up some bins to hold things I'm not using daily, such as my winter clothes (they'll come back out in a few months, but I need them out of the way just now.
My car is likewise a mess, and I want to get it cleaned out, if only to be more comfortable for my passengers and me.
This is my internal perfectionism rising again, and it's a cruel mistress. I can never live up to those standards, because there will always be some flaw, or something more I could have done.
This weekend, I worked out, returned one pair of shoes, bought two more that I had planned to purchase, helped my son get some supplies to better organize his room at his mom's house, started cleaning my room, fixed the remote for my car, and did my laundry.
It is unusual for me to clean my room, and it's likely that this is something I'm resisting doing. Since childhood, I've always been content with a room that was messy as hell. I'm finding this to be less satisfactory lately, and have been feeling driven to clean it. I kept starting and stopping the work, with excuses or diversions. I moved into my room about three months ago, and my old shoes were still in a garbage bag. I've also got 6 boxes that are still inefficiently packed and some baskets that I'm not sure I'll use. I got myself a shoe rack, cleared out the garbage bags, and got my shoes neatly put away. I also picked up some bins to hold things I'm not using daily, such as my winter clothes (they'll come back out in a few months, but I need them out of the way just now.
My car is likewise a mess, and I want to get it cleaned out, if only to be more comfortable for my passengers and me.
This is my internal perfectionism rising again, and it's a cruel mistress. I can never live up to those standards, because there will always be some flaw, or something more I could have done.
Fear is a liar.
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. -- Ernest Hemingway
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. -- Ernest Hemingway
