03-27-2025, 09:11 PM
So alot to unpack, and some confusion of where to go next. I think i'll seperate this into 2 posts.
To start, on one of my last days of PM I went on a porn binge which I was trying to avoid as it would lower my testosterone when I retested but the frustration on the weekend triggered it. Then it lead to the next much bigger frustration, I added a little bit when using my higher self statement about "having PM help me to recover from the porn binge, and stopping it now" (as in not doing it any more times) but I think my mind misinterpreted it as stopping the goals of PM since that is part of what preceded what I added.
I very quickly felt that what I was noticing from PM disappeared, and over the next few days it lessened more. And it was like all the parts that were being moved in a new direction (eg beliefs and such) started pushing back harder, like I felt weak and emasculated, my masculine mindset lessened and was going in the other direction, deservingness with girls which I then realized had built alot.. but now I realize what was happening is that PM was building that deservingness, aswell as past programs now that i'm aware of this.. but at the same time there was a stronger fear being triggered. So i'd have the urge to go and talk to girls, was able to imagine myself with them and it felt more real, but the fear would totally stop me.
Well when I derailed PM I then felt alot of that go backwards too and just felt weird. So fucking annoying.
BUT.. I have to state this is something specific to me and others shouldn't expect it. I realized that it makes zero sense that such a simple thing would completely make my results disappear as it did, and that I actually have a deeper part of myself creating this pattern and using different things I can blame, like that simple addition to the statement. In the past it's stuff like doing other methods after I finish a subliminal trying to get motivation for business for example but then the work I do destroys the subliminals results, and a few other occurences.
So it's obviously some part of me that is very scared and threatened. Sunday was my rest night of PM after the last night of listening, and it's friday today. And most nights i've been setting a question for my higher self when I goto bed why this happened, the cause and how I can fix it. Usually I either get things popping into my head after that and then turn on my lamp and write it down, or later in the night I wake up with answers. Still I don't fully trust the answers I get as it's constantly told me different things at times and then that thing hasn't necessarily solved the issue that i'm asking about.
Anyway it ranged from stuff like.. (this is each night combined, so not all in one night).
-You don't use subliminals long enough and jump around. Not necessarily true, i've used past programs for large amounts of time. Sometimes I feel it throws out throwaway answers to me at first and I have to keep asking.
-Then the name of a dodgy hypnotist who fucked me over repeating in my head. I worked alot on that when I got other coaching and dealt with alot of it I think so i'm not sure.
-Then my mind started going back and forth "don't do 6g, do do 6g" then "don't do OGSF, do do OSGF". Like 2 parts were fighting, one part telling me to do it, the other scared and telling me not to.
-"When did it all start?" then what come to mind again is when I got attacked with an axe and how everything has got worse since then, that i've made good progress but in several ways i've kept going downhill. Then OGSF v3 will help really deal with it, and somatic trauma work which I haven't done for ages.
-Some part of you is scared of really going out into the world due to this axe incident (and other things likely) that when it gets an opportunity it uses something else to get rid of your results and makes me blame that thing.
-As long as I don't feel safe, have this trauma and fear it'll keep happening. OGSF v3 is the best choice.
-Another night after I asked the question I had nothing, then a strong wave of emotion come up and a voice repeating in my head "i'm going to destroy you, fuck you" (I found things like this several times when I was getting coaching before I did PM).
-Just do OGSFv3 now, focus on that and it's goals. And in the future you can do a 6g version of PM. (I will expand on this, basically this was after realizing what PM was doing after it was derailed).
-The issue causing this PM programming to disappear was fear, OGSF will dig down and deal with it with enough time used.
To start, on one of my last days of PM I went on a porn binge which I was trying to avoid as it would lower my testosterone when I retested but the frustration on the weekend triggered it. Then it lead to the next much bigger frustration, I added a little bit when using my higher self statement about "having PM help me to recover from the porn binge, and stopping it now" (as in not doing it any more times) but I think my mind misinterpreted it as stopping the goals of PM since that is part of what preceded what I added.
I very quickly felt that what I was noticing from PM disappeared, and over the next few days it lessened more. And it was like all the parts that were being moved in a new direction (eg beliefs and such) started pushing back harder, like I felt weak and emasculated, my masculine mindset lessened and was going in the other direction, deservingness with girls which I then realized had built alot.. but now I realize what was happening is that PM was building that deservingness, aswell as past programs now that i'm aware of this.. but at the same time there was a stronger fear being triggered. So i'd have the urge to go and talk to girls, was able to imagine myself with them and it felt more real, but the fear would totally stop me.
Well when I derailed PM I then felt alot of that go backwards too and just felt weird. So fucking annoying.
BUT.. I have to state this is something specific to me and others shouldn't expect it. I realized that it makes zero sense that such a simple thing would completely make my results disappear as it did, and that I actually have a deeper part of myself creating this pattern and using different things I can blame, like that simple addition to the statement. In the past it's stuff like doing other methods after I finish a subliminal trying to get motivation for business for example but then the work I do destroys the subliminals results, and a few other occurences.
So it's obviously some part of me that is very scared and threatened. Sunday was my rest night of PM after the last night of listening, and it's friday today. And most nights i've been setting a question for my higher self when I goto bed why this happened, the cause and how I can fix it. Usually I either get things popping into my head after that and then turn on my lamp and write it down, or later in the night I wake up with answers. Still I don't fully trust the answers I get as it's constantly told me different things at times and then that thing hasn't necessarily solved the issue that i'm asking about.
Anyway it ranged from stuff like.. (this is each night combined, so not all in one night).
-You don't use subliminals long enough and jump around. Not necessarily true, i've used past programs for large amounts of time. Sometimes I feel it throws out throwaway answers to me at first and I have to keep asking.
-Then the name of a dodgy hypnotist who fucked me over repeating in my head. I worked alot on that when I got other coaching and dealt with alot of it I think so i'm not sure.
-Then my mind started going back and forth "don't do 6g, do do 6g" then "don't do OGSF, do do OSGF". Like 2 parts were fighting, one part telling me to do it, the other scared and telling me not to.
-"When did it all start?" then what come to mind again is when I got attacked with an axe and how everything has got worse since then, that i've made good progress but in several ways i've kept going downhill. Then OGSF v3 will help really deal with it, and somatic trauma work which I haven't done for ages.
-Some part of you is scared of really going out into the world due to this axe incident (and other things likely) that when it gets an opportunity it uses something else to get rid of your results and makes me blame that thing.
-As long as I don't feel safe, have this trauma and fear it'll keep happening. OGSF v3 is the best choice.
-Another night after I asked the question I had nothing, then a strong wave of emotion come up and a voice repeating in my head "i'm going to destroy you, fuck you" (I found things like this several times when I was getting coaching before I did PM).
-Just do OGSFv3 now, focus on that and it's goals. And in the future you can do a 6g version of PM. (I will expand on this, basically this was after realizing what PM was doing after it was derailed).
-The issue causing this PM programming to disappear was fear, OGSF will dig down and deal with it with enough time used.
