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+--- Thread: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) (/Thread-Masculine-Prime-Primal-Masculinity-5-11g)
Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 12-22-2024
It's time.
I've been putting it off for quite a while, all kinds of excuses and even fear and resistance. I'd get to the time i'd be about to use it and something would come up, and now a month later I finally made the decision to start today, of course this morning I was having more fear come up, telling me I should do something else. I explored it a bit and worked on that.
The thing I like about Primal Masculinity (the description) is that you can create your own definition, so i've written quite a long document defining everything for myself with the intention of PM to use it as a reference. I also have written a commitment to read daily that sets my main intention and focus for the program that i'm hoping will allow it to use that as the priority. I don't know what effect that will have, but I believe setting this intention will help.
As some of you can see in journals, and very much in my past journals especially AM journals.. it can be an emotional rollercoaster and especially when you hit upon resistance you can feel like it's doing nothing and it can depend how you feel on the day whether you say it's doing much or not.
So some things i've done to more concretely measure results -
-Testosterone test.
-Before photos and video. (I don't plan to share these publicly but can share it with certain people i've had enough interaction with here).
-Video of me on the bag (martial arts).
-Rated and described my current experience in several main areas.
I believe that one of my big issues is low testosterone. It's been ridiculously low, originally when I had chronic fatigue and other stuff it was 97, around 3 months ago was 297 which is the highest in years, and a month ago was 247 which is my before reading. I know it's a month ago when I intended to start, but it's close enough to measure and see hopefully concrete results.
Obviously my main priority i've set the intent for that I won't expand on here.
But my other areas I want it to help with is obviously working out and physique as i've got to a point I can workout okay again but have really struggled to look how I want again, to really get back into shape no matter what workouts I try. So I believe PM will help boost this and clear out some of the limitations around it, some of it physical but I also believe there's a mental component to this.
Also martial arts, my other passion I want PM to boost my training, skills and performance to a higher level.
So both of these include improving my physique, but not to a bodybuilder level but more athletic warrior kind of look, ripped but looking dangerous and capable but also genuinely being capable. Functional strength and fitness for training but also for life.
Why? Cos the world is getting more retarded each day, and the people who are meant to protect us from crazy people seem to just be not doing anything about it anymore because of these 'poor misunderstood people' or whatever it is today.
But also wanting to develop capability, self-reliance, independence in other areas of my life. And also to recover and expand on my drive for life and my goals, that has been severely lacking, partly I feel due to low testosterone but also things i've gone through in the last 6 years or so.
And a big one is destroying any feminist/woke/bs programming inside me.. i'm very against all of it but I still see that it has and is affecting me in negative ways and i've noticed in recent times i've had much more of a 'thin skin' with this stuff, it's affecting me alot more and even seen myself getting a bit into the victim mode because of how men are being attacked and ridiculed in society constantly. I'm way too emotionally reactive to it, though I know this is much better than having zero awareness about it or even worse being okay with what they are telling me a 'man' should be that is completely, inherently against strength and masculinity.
It IS a reality no matter how much these people try to lie and pretend it isn't, but I want to develop a thick skin to it, stand up to it if needed. For example not arguing uselessly on social media about it, but if I come across it in my life or it's directed at me then stand up to it. But also knowing when to ignore it and just do and be who I want to be.
And also take concrete actions to push back against it all, by being an embodiment of real strength and masculinity and not the bullshit pc 'new age' bullshit they are trying to force onto us pretending that they need to redefine it.. when in reality it's a way to manipulate and control us.. and to stop men standing up to the massive amounts of bullshit both happening in the world and being thrown at them.
So I like the idea of what Nomad called "the thick skin effect".
To reconnect with alot of things i've lost that I seen when reading my old journals, but in a smoother and less psycho way than I seen in my old journals where I was way too much of a massive asshole. With all i've been through since then and the healing i've done my ideas are more balanced, but definately are much more towards the 'traditional' angle of masculinity.
But to have both sides, the hardcore, primal side where I can stand up for myself and others, handle myself physically and in conflict, be assertive and strong and stand up and say "no" when i need to. But also having a loving, playful, fun side when appropriate and being able to relax.
I also know that physicality isn't enough when I got into the best shape of my life, the top percentage in the gym but still was insecure and my confidence and self-esteem didn't match that and most of the girls I was with were not that much higher quality than when I was overweight.
So along with physicality, developing genuine confidence, self-esteem, self-assurance and such. They both work together, having one without the other isn't complete and they both benefit each other.
As for girls, not much happening in that area. I've struggled to get past the fear that increased alot since dealing with the fatigue and such. I know PM isn't specifically focused on that, but I do have some things in my definitions around that and I hope that it will help, but the priority is on my own development and that as a positive side effect.
My initial plan is to commit for 3 months and look at the measurements I mentioned and then further commit if it's going in the direction I want.
Usage -
Started 23/12/24.
To start - Use this experience for 1 loop per day on, for 4 days on and 1 days off per usage cycle.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Frosted - 12-23-2024
Good luck my man! Excited to see your progress.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 12-23-2024
(12-23-2024, 03:35 PM)Frosted Wrote: Good luck my man! Excited to see your progress.
Thanks man, i'll write up my first impressions in a seperate post.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 12-23-2024
First listening was last night a few hours before bed. I sat in my room and read.
First thing I noticed is that the book i'm reading is about anti-fragility and resilience in the area of physical training. And that I was resonating much more with what I was reading, plus what I read showed me that i've had the right idea in the past with some of my training.
Then maybe 30 minutes in, I had the sudden urge to look through my masculinity books and get rid of a few that are preaching the new age bullshit. What's interesting is I instantly knew which books even if I haven't read 2 of them. One I wasn't sure of I read bits of it which confirmed my suspicion.. anything that spouts nonsense about 'redefining masculinity' is almost without exception nonsense that contributes to weakening men.
Instead of donating or giving away these 3 books I found I threw them in the bin, because I don't want to spread this stuff into the world to contribute to that.
Had a few interesting dreams that I don't remember. I remembered one this morning, but couldn't really figure out the meaning. I got a package of training dvd's from a certain instructor and I had ordered it as a present for a woman I know, I wouldn't fully call her a friend as but sometimes hang out with her when I see my other friend and she comes along. It doesn't make sense as she's not interested in martial arts training. I took it as potentially either it directing me to look at this guys material for ideas for my training, or that it's just working on something around my enthusiasm for training. Why it involved her I have no idea.
I've decided to listen at night, but this morning I had a strong desire to listen, like i'm craving the input and that it's giving me something I really need. I didn't though as i'll stick to nights. Not sure if an extra loop this morning then doing tonight is a good idea or not.
I woke up and instead of wasting time went straight to one thing I usually do later in the day. Then decided to do something i've been putting off because it's uncomfortable, but then another issue come up when trying to deal with it.
Now i'm sitting here feeling depressed, feeling like everything I was feeling that was good is gone. Actually i'm even finding it difficult to think and finish the post properly. I started it enthusiastic now I seem to have forgotten where I was going with it. Suddenly tired, can't concentrate and my motivation to do stuff disappeared.
Along with that still interestingly is the craving to do a loop now. I'm not sure if I should just go with it, do one now and then the normal night loop. Weirdly the feeling is like "I need to listen again as a top up".
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Shannon - 12-24-2024
Why do you always do this, Ben? You don't listen to the AutoConfig, and you always regret it. Stop second guessing it and just do what it's telling you to do. The AutoConfig is there for people who need something significantly different than the instructions that work for the majority. Stop being a schmuck and follow the urges it's giving you!
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 12-24-2024
(Yesterday, 08:38 PM)Shannon Wrote: Why do you always do this, Ben? You don't listen to the AutoConfig, and you always regret it. Stop second guessing it and just do what it's telling you to do. The AutoConfig is there for people who need something significantly different than the instructions that work for the majority. Stop being a schmuck and follow the urges it's giving you!
I generally do, but sometimes there's been confusion with that as you've stated that it's important to do a few cycles as described first so I was trying to stick to that.
I didn't get it come up today, but if it does i'll follow it. I'll report on some more stuff soon.
Actually I realized after I said the above, that I am getting a sense of "I'm liking this input of Primal Masculinity, but it feels like I need MORE input, I need MORE of this".
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 12-25-2024
This is interesting. On most past subs it tends to take a while to have dreams with intense emotions, well last night the 2nd night I had one.
First it started off like I was in a video game setting up an ambush for some public figure or something. I don't really remember that part and it doesn't stand out.
But the next part I was out the front of this technological kind of 2 story mansion, and it had these electronic 'tracks' leading from the door to a tv there. My auntie and someone else (maybe another relative i'm not sure) were trying to turn the tv up with a remote and it wasn't working. I had another remote and was trying to help.
The volume then come on and they were standing on this 'track' near the door and suddenly there was this explosion with electricity flying out everywhere and they were on the ground. And there were fires everywhere, I realized my mum and dad were on the 2nd floor and tried to go in but the stairs were all destroyed and there were fires everywhere so I couldn't get up there.
I remember strong feelings of fear and panic and I was screaming.
I woke up not feeling good, but realizing that when this happens it means it's working through something. I woke up with this weird thought and feelings of "I don't want to be violent, I just want to feel love".
Confusing, as part of my goal of the program is to improve my martial arts skills and such.. but in reality I don't want to have to fight. Thinking about it later in the day I thought "well actually if this training and having to fight is coming from love, as in having to protect somebody or myself, then that's fine and it makes sense".
I'm getting a sense that PM is noticably different than the AM programs in that with those I was much more moody, didn't give a fuck about much. Whereas with PM there seems to be this kind of element around love and good feelings as opposed to "FUCK YOU FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK THE WORLD".
I can't explain it, but I usually tune out when I read stuff about love, especially around Masculinity. But I also was reading something around that after my first listening yesterday and it suddenly made more sense to me. I can't remember what it was now specifically. Of course it's too early to really say if this is the case, but that's my first impression. I think part of my fear for PM was due to the crazy rollercoaster, mood swings and intensity and just being crazy and angry with rage alot of the time on the AM programs and thinking it would be like that. We will see.
Also I noticed after getting up I was feeling like contacting my biological mum and brothers and sisters and feeling like seeing them. This is different because a few years ago, maybe on OFv3 I decided that she was not a positive in my life at all and stopped talking to her. She keeps messaging me every now and then and sending cards but I haven't had any desire to reply. Also haven't seen my brother and have always had this feeling since covid when his girlfriend deleted me from facebook for my opinions that it'd just be awkward and uncomfortable.
Though a bit later those feelings of wanting to see them again passed, but i'm guessing it will keep going in the direction of reuniting with them. My thought was that I felt like I couldn't deal with it, and obviously Masculinity means being able to deal with things that might be difficult or uncomfortable. I don't mind if it keeps developing in that way and I end up feeling like talking to them again.
I also hate christmas but I actually in the morning had this feeling of enthusiasm for it briefly, along with those other feelings around my biological mum. Interesting, but that passed too after a while.