Foundations of self confidence - OSC

[ncbeareatingman]

Running OSC sometimes feels like getting an inner massage. The one with a fierce thai-woman who grinds her elbow deep into a knot she found in your back until it's dissolved.

- Some days I can feel really anxious or depressed
- Some day's I'm exhausted and just park myself in the sofa after work
- I have less desire to go into tinder swiping
- I'm slowly discovering how to shift my focus inwards to my own needs and wants
- I'm discovering playing the piano just but whatever I feel like playing

Talking to a friend a few weeks back it became pretty clear that I have a tendency to shift focus from myself to others. Instead of staying in the feeling of what I want, what I desire, what I like or dislike - I shift my focus into what I think that other people expect, like, dislike, etc. It seems to be a deep rooted pattern in myself as I kept doing it, and had to catch myself from going there.

Focusing on myself is associated with some sort of guilt. Who am I to think that I should have desires? If I have desires then I will overrule other peoples desires. Etc. I seem to have an unbalanced way of looking at my "desiring part" in lack of a better term.

Man oh Man can I relate to what you're saying here. I ,too, am on OSC, plus DRS right afterwards. What you're discovering and becoming by shedding the old patterns, it's like de.wiring, untangling the tangled up "mess" into greater functionality, great power,energy ,expression & empowerment!! It's great to behold,man. Like saying " This is Me, mfkr's, deal with it, like it or not, I'm staying in my power and my range of power, like it or not!!" Keep going & growing, more power to ya!! Keith.