03-11-2025, 12:49 AM
Last night was my night off. I stayed up a fair bit later which is because of how i've been feeling. Weirdly not motivated, low energy but then I feel like shit and want to stay up later playing games despite that. I took some l-ornithine to help me sleep which I noticed earlier in PM it interrupted the processing and made my head feel weird, but last night it actually seemed okay. I woke up feeling like some stress had been lifted, not sure how else to explain it.
But it didn't last very long. I am so consistent with my workouts for years, only on the 3rd week on (after a recovery week) and i've just taken this week to stretch, have a normal workout tomorrow but am thinking i'll do the same thing, that is how low my motivation is, obviously part of low t from the porn binge too.
But also likely resistance. What I noticed is when I set up my playlist for PM, after that i've been feeling nauseous and my head weird. I had to really force myself to go and start the playlist. It could also be the porn binge with feeling nauseous and my head weird, but though i've been feeling low today I don't remember feeling nauseous until then.
It's basically feeling like there's this big wall and I kept increasing loops, and now this wall come up like "nope". I'm even having these little visualizations come to mind like me trying to move forward and bumping into this wall, and my general feelings feel like that too.
Still pressing play though, for atleast the about 12 days left for my planned usage time.
But it didn't last very long. I am so consistent with my workouts for years, only on the 3rd week on (after a recovery week) and i've just taken this week to stretch, have a normal workout tomorrow but am thinking i'll do the same thing, that is how low my motivation is, obviously part of low t from the porn binge too.
But also likely resistance. What I noticed is when I set up my playlist for PM, after that i've been feeling nauseous and my head weird. I had to really force myself to go and start the playlist. It could also be the porn binge with feeling nauseous and my head weird, but though i've been feeling low today I don't remember feeling nauseous until then.
It's basically feeling like there's this big wall and I kept increasing loops, and now this wall come up like "nope". I'm even having these little visualizations come to mind like me trying to move forward and bumping into this wall, and my general feelings feel like that too.
Still pressing play though, for atleast the about 12 days left for my planned usage time.
