Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 8

[faolck]

Going into the ceremony my intention was to heal whatever was making me stutter. Shortly after I took the medicine, it plunged me into a DEEP depression. I started judging the s*it out of everyone there and myself and was being pessimistic about everything. Eventually I was able to turn it around. And then I started thinking about my mom who was there with me. 

I felt like someone was guiding my thoughts. One of my first thoughts was “you think your mom is defenseless but doors open for her anywhere she goes” (which in the moment reminded me of how my mom got up to move away from me and shortly after she was already joking around with the people next to her). Then after that my mind thought “you think you came here to help her but in reality she came here to help you”, “she moved away from you because you wouldn’t have moved away from her”.

Then I got the sense that I’ve been finding comfort in my mom so I wouldn’t have to face the world alone. And stuttering was a way for me to stay my mom’s baby/little kid and not face the world . Seeing that through my adult eyes allowed me to let go of the mechanism and stuttering because obviously it’s not helpful anymore and I can face the world alone.

This story makes me sound like I’m hella dependent on my mom but I’ve been paying for my all my living expenses since I was 21 and I’ve lived in different states or countries from her and I was fine. I didn’t feel like I was dying because we didn’t live under the same roof lol.

This should be very helpful for improving the next program to help relieve stuttering, thank a you.  We have a rule against discussing drugs on the forum, but I think in this instance we can let it slide, since it is directly benefiting the research I've been doing into helping stutterers.

Thanks for sharing.

You’re welcome. I’m glad I was able to contribute to your next program to help people who stutter.
 I would greatly appreciate it if you could issue the refund for OGSF, as discussed earlier. I truly value your products. I’ve purchased multiple of them for myself and as gifts for other people. I just didn’t get the results I was hoping for with this specific one.

I appreciate your understanding and look forward to your response.