Sorry that I have been gone for 4 weeks (Even though 1 week was because my pc wouldn't show anything on my monitor screen and a little start up problem)
I'm still trying to find out why I'm seeking validation..
I have some idea's like: My dad neglecting me and only gaving a shit once I turned 18 somehow expecting I learned everything a normale 18 year old would.. and even then it was probbally to cheat further on my mom and get even more sex with random woman..
(This was something I found out after his death though.. Also explains all the arguing my parents had..)
Then there is the part where I always had to prove myself to my Mother and Sister because they didn't believe I couldn't become a voice actor.. wich kinda became true I have potential but I need more acting lessons and better reaction skills (wich sucks because I have a slow reaction skill because of my autism or mayby because I'm fat, or both idk)..
I'm also in this weird spot where I start to lose the confidence I got from past subs/exps but that's probbally because I'm dealing with a touchy subject now that I used to run away from (or rather: Eat,Fap and buy away from...)
The good news is: I have a therapy interview on November 13th, I hope this will become a succes because it's clear I need it.. Wich is Ironic because I tried to use Shannons Subs/Exps to avoid having to go to therapy and make something out of my life..
I'm sure I can still do that With the Subs/Exps but it's clear I also need therapy and I need to learn to get patience because things are going slower then I expected hehe..
But we will see what 6G and later can do for me..
I'm still trying to find out why I'm seeking validation..
I have some idea's like: My dad neglecting me and only gaving a shit once I turned 18 somehow expecting I learned everything a normale 18 year old would.. and even then it was probbally to cheat further on my mom and get even more sex with random woman..
(This was something I found out after his death though.. Also explains all the arguing my parents had..)
Then there is the part where I always had to prove myself to my Mother and Sister because they didn't believe I couldn't become a voice actor.. wich kinda became true I have potential but I need more acting lessons and better reaction skills (wich sucks because I have a slow reaction skill because of my autism or mayby because I'm fat, or both idk)..
I'm also in this weird spot where I start to lose the confidence I got from past subs/exps but that's probbally because I'm dealing with a touchy subject now that I used to run away from (or rather: Eat,Fap and buy away from...)
The good news is: I have a therapy interview on November 13th, I hope this will become a succes because it's clear I need it.. Wich is Ironic because I tried to use Shannons Subs/Exps to avoid having to go to therapy and make something out of my life..
I'm sure I can still do that With the Subs/Exps but it's clear I also need therapy and I need to learn to get patience because things are going slower then I expected hehe..
But we will see what 6G and later can do for me..
