One can never predict the trajectory a subliminal takes to reach its goals, but that goes with everything in life. My goal with the journal is to pen down my thoughts on a platform where they have a chance to make sense and relate to others. Please feel free to chime in if you connect to the words or have a critique to offer.
The first few days, to say the least, were explosive. I had moments where my mind felt like it's melting with breakthroughs. There were many, too many to count, 'holy f*ck' moments that stretched my horizons in the best ways possible. One of the more important mental breakthroughs was that money doesn't define a person's self-worth. I live in a culture where respect often goes hand-in-hand with money, and part of the reason I want to achieve financial success is to gain a certain level of respect amongst my family and peers. But that motivation factor is out of the window. I believe I'd be the very same individual no matter how much I am worth in monetary terms. I've been far more fascinated by concepts of wealth and value. I am starting to see it drenched into the very fabric of our society. Yes, there are more ways to become wealthy than providing value, but it's the path that my subconscious seems to have chosen for me so far.
I had a certain monthly income in mind before I pressed play, but it makes absolutely no sense now. I had ideas to explore with naive plans, but they don't make any sense either. My goals have stretched far beyond what they were, but I don't know what they are now. Aiming for a better income for the sake of more money isn't the goal either. I'd still like to explore the ideas that my mind has been sitting on all this time. But I know I can't dedicate my life to them. I am starting to think I need an alter ego to keep myself grounded and realistic. But who has achieved anything in life being grounded and realistic? Anyhow, these are hollow words without concrete action to back them up. I do think I am limited by not knowing how to code, but I haven't made up my mind if I should explore that yet or not.
Mind-altering insights were the first stage of the journey so far. The second, and if you ask me far more unexpected, is the utter loneliness. I am undergoing a major identity shift, perhaps on par with AM back in the days. I am re-thinking, all over again, the concept of self and how it fits into the new worldview. I wouldn't go as far as to say I've lost sense of who I am, but it sure feels like it. A couple of days ago, I had a full-on emotional meltdown, and what triggered it was nonsensical. I've never been affected like that ever before. It leads me to believe that that particular trigger was a way for my subconscious to express its helplessness against the new input. I am still emotionally sore and unable to be productive, but I don't expect it to last long. I've upped my loops and canceled one rest day too. I might as well not take any rest days from here onwards if that's okay. It's dawning on me that I have to walk this path alone and all by myself. In a way, it's a huge responsibility, and I am yet to learn how to cope up with it. Then there's this fear of being misunderstood, unheard, ignored.
No matter how it goes in the coming weeks, I sure need to re-visit Stage 1 again in the future. Thank you for reading if you've made it this far.
The first few days, to say the least, were explosive. I had moments where my mind felt like it's melting with breakthroughs. There were many, too many to count, 'holy f*ck' moments that stretched my horizons in the best ways possible. One of the more important mental breakthroughs was that money doesn't define a person's self-worth. I live in a culture where respect often goes hand-in-hand with money, and part of the reason I want to achieve financial success is to gain a certain level of respect amongst my family and peers. But that motivation factor is out of the window. I believe I'd be the very same individual no matter how much I am worth in monetary terms. I've been far more fascinated by concepts of wealth and value. I am starting to see it drenched into the very fabric of our society. Yes, there are more ways to become wealthy than providing value, but it's the path that my subconscious seems to have chosen for me so far.
I had a certain monthly income in mind before I pressed play, but it makes absolutely no sense now. I had ideas to explore with naive plans, but they don't make any sense either. My goals have stretched far beyond what they were, but I don't know what they are now. Aiming for a better income for the sake of more money isn't the goal either. I'd still like to explore the ideas that my mind has been sitting on all this time. But I know I can't dedicate my life to them. I am starting to think I need an alter ego to keep myself grounded and realistic. But who has achieved anything in life being grounded and realistic? Anyhow, these are hollow words without concrete action to back them up. I do think I am limited by not knowing how to code, but I haven't made up my mind if I should explore that yet or not.
Mind-altering insights were the first stage of the journey so far. The second, and if you ask me far more unexpected, is the utter loneliness. I am undergoing a major identity shift, perhaps on par with AM back in the days. I am re-thinking, all over again, the concept of self and how it fits into the new worldview. I wouldn't go as far as to say I've lost sense of who I am, but it sure feels like it. A couple of days ago, I had a full-on emotional meltdown, and what triggered it was nonsensical. I've never been affected like that ever before. It leads me to believe that that particular trigger was a way for my subconscious to express its helplessness against the new input. I am still emotionally sore and unable to be productive, but I don't expect it to last long. I've upped my loops and canceled one rest day too. I might as well not take any rest days from here onwards if that's okay. It's dawning on me that I have to walk this path alone and all by myself. In a way, it's a huge responsibility, and I am yet to learn how to cope up with it. Then there's this fear of being misunderstood, unheard, ignored.
No matter how it goes in the coming weeks, I sure need to re-visit Stage 1 again in the future. Thank you for reading if you've made it this far.
