How I Believe that with SD 5.11 My Life Will Change

[Shannon]

First, focus on understanding WHY you're seeking for others to make you not feel lonely. Everyone gets lonely, but you always have yourself to turn to. I was once in shoes similar to yours. I was always too afraid to try to make myself the focus of my own happiness. When my mother died I was finally forced to turn to myself for attention, love and entertainment. Circumstances beyond my control forced this on me for 2 years straight until I developed the changes I needed. And I learned that I can always turn to myself for approval, kindness, consideration, care, love, entertainment and happiness. I hope you manage to do that without having it forced on you like it was forced on me. But I found that I can enjoy quiet and solitude. There is always something interesting I can think about. I turned cooking for myself into an adventure and a learning experience and it was lots of fun to learn what cuts of meat were what, how to butcher them, and how to cook them and make them incredibly delicious. I would go to Wal Mart and buy movie discs from the $3-4-5 bin and watch a movie while I ate each night. Or I would go out and hike in the woods, or spend time at the beach enjoying the breeze and the sounds of the ocean while I contemplated interesting questions. Or I would go out and do photography, or go metal detecting. Or teach myself programming. I learned how to smoke foods. And gardening. I also learned how to build interesting things. And I played D&D during the rare times when I had people worth trying to game with, and everyone was free and able and willing to get together for a game.

But ultimately, I had myself 99% of the time. And when I came out of that 2 years of solitude, I was perfectly fine with that. I could make myself my company and be perfectly happy. And when I did that successfully, you know what happened? I stopped looking for companionship. And the moment I genuinely didn't need it and stopped looking... my life came alive with it. Because I wasn't needing it, and focusing on that need, which is really a focus on the lack of something, which the universe understands to mean that you want more of that lack of whatever, and it provides it to you happily until you get it and change.

It's not about alpha-ness, although a genuine alpha is self reliant and sufficient when life calls for it. It's about being self reliant and self sufficient, which doesn't require all of what being an alpha requires.