08-16-2024, 09:41 PM
I’m not fully sure yet what E6 is doing, but it almost seems like it’s sneaking up on me. There are things that are happening to me that are hard to explain and a lot are intuited by subtle signs I notice that I’m not fully conscious of.
One of the more obvious of these signs was when I was walking back from the beach today and just suddenly went still and stared off in the distance. I felt a depth in my body I can’t explain and that I don’t ever remember experiencing before. I’m not in that state now, but from my faint memory of it, it almost seemed like I faded into the world for a few seconds. Like the “outline” of my body nearly fully dissolved for a moment. Meanwhile I didn’t think about it too much and just kept walking lol.
I also notice a lot of little signs like the one just described that all paint a picture that something profound is going on beneath the surface, but somehow even though logically I know that this shit is crazy, it doesn’t feel that crazy emotionally (even as I’m typing this). My reality is such that a profound transformation is happening to me and it feels like a trip to the grocery store. It’s preposterous, and yet it continues.
I also have a litany of embarrassing issues I’m also dealing with. It’s like I’m reliving my experience as a meek and traumatized child. Shame and fear seem to be a theme lately. Lot of unmet needs bubbling up and clamoring for attention.
In a lot of ways I’m not living up to my potential and I’m really questioning if my approach of waiting to heal to take action towards my goals is correct. Right now I really think it is, despite the judgement from society that lives in my head. But I’m not fully sure and I’m constantly re-evaluating. My progress is good enough that it’s worthwhile to me to wait and see what happens.
I’m kind of fully leaning into the healing angle right now. Not even trying to take action towards my goals and instead focusing on “rehabilitation” back into life. Almost like someone with a physical injury getting rehabilitated, but emotionally and spiritually.
P.S This is kind of out of order but a random though I had I wanted to write down. I feel like E6 is fully reconstructing my psyche from the ground up.
P.S.S Don’t use E6 if you hate becoming awesome
One of the more obvious of these signs was when I was walking back from the beach today and just suddenly went still and stared off in the distance. I felt a depth in my body I can’t explain and that I don’t ever remember experiencing before. I’m not in that state now, but from my faint memory of it, it almost seemed like I faded into the world for a few seconds. Like the “outline” of my body nearly fully dissolved for a moment. Meanwhile I didn’t think about it too much and just kept walking lol.
I also notice a lot of little signs like the one just described that all paint a picture that something profound is going on beneath the surface, but somehow even though logically I know that this shit is crazy, it doesn’t feel that crazy emotionally (even as I’m typing this). My reality is such that a profound transformation is happening to me and it feels like a trip to the grocery store. It’s preposterous, and yet it continues.
I also have a litany of embarrassing issues I’m also dealing with. It’s like I’m reliving my experience as a meek and traumatized child. Shame and fear seem to be a theme lately. Lot of unmet needs bubbling up and clamoring for attention.
In a lot of ways I’m not living up to my potential and I’m really questioning if my approach of waiting to heal to take action towards my goals is correct. Right now I really think it is, despite the judgement from society that lives in my head. But I’m not fully sure and I’m constantly re-evaluating. My progress is good enough that it’s worthwhile to me to wait and see what happens.
I’m kind of fully leaning into the healing angle right now. Not even trying to take action towards my goals and instead focusing on “rehabilitation” back into life. Almost like someone with a physical injury getting rehabilitated, but emotionally and spiritually.
P.S This is kind of out of order but a random though I had I wanted to write down. I feel like E6 is fully reconstructing my psyche from the ground up.
P.S.S Don’t use E6 if you hate becoming awesome
