EHPRA6

[callie]

Basically been using every healing title since OFv1. Never really did a full run-through though, despite setting my intention to do so each time. 

Also, I might have jumped to conclusions about resistance. While it does play a significant role, there's also a part of me that has grown to hate myself, rooted in emotional pain from my childhood. I often mistake this for resistance because of the intense physical symptoms it can produce.

And yeah, I'm only sticking to latest tech. I don't see a reason not to.

Finishing is important. “Greater than the sum of its parts” is a quote that captures the gap between stopping partway through and completing a run. Over multiple titles, you’re robbing yourself of tons of growth. But don’t beat yourself over the head for not finishing in the past. Focus on finishing this run of E6 no matter what.

Yeah it’s interesting. I can’t speak for your experience, but in my experience, the pain that comes up feels like contraction but paradoxically is actually from releasing. It’s like putting a dissolving tablet in water and thinking the tablet isn’t dissolving because you see a film develop on the surface. The film obscures the process, but paradoxically is a sign that it’s working.

I’ve had deep issues as well that have come up over and over and have had my doubts as well. The only reason I continued with so much healing/clearing despite essentially getting beat over the head with pain constantly was because I recognized I wasn’t getting the results I wanted from subs. I recognized my desire to run another sub to fulfill a desire as bs, since I couldn’t achieve the level of result I wanted. It’s like wanting to leave the hospital and go skiing while my whole body is broken, so that I can escape the pain of my whole body being broken lol. Healing is what we need, but our brain tries to trick us to want other things that paradoxically we can get if we keep focusing on healing/clearing.

Blind faith can only take me so far. If there isn’t something to counteract the undercurrent of hopelessness and self loathing, I burn out eventually. That’s why I haven’t been able to finish any program. Trust me, I am the least happy about that. 

I’m not having the best experience with E6. But so far I feel like I can keep going. It’s a bit overwhelming at times, and if that continues I will give masked a shot again. But yeah, I am determined to finish E6. I’m happy to see that you continue to improve.