Attract Romantic Love 5.8G (ARL)

[Shannon]

So... I met this girl off a dating app who likes anime and fantasy like I do. We had sex last night, but I couldn't really get hard so it was mainly an intense makeout session. @Shannon she's looking for a long term relationship too. She plans to go to the gym and exercise which is something I like to do too. It was hard having sex with her because my body was a) either exhausted from only have one meal yesterday or B) the sexual chemistry wasn't there. She's a little overweight, but she hits all the checkmarks on personality and is kind and funny. Do you have any thoughts on this in regards to ARL? I think I should just keep going. This was only the second date.

Edit: I feel like this girl isn't right for me because of our sexual chemistry. I think somewhere in my mind I find her unnattractive because she's overweight.

You seem the type who is a bit anxious in general, and that likely has to do with uncertainty and potentially feeling insecure about one or more things.

Not being able to get hard can be a lot of different things.  Men are much more complex creatures than they're typically given credit for.  It can result from exhaustion, low blood sugar, emotional upset, emotional disconnect, lack of attraction, guilt, shame, fear, negative beliefs, negative expectations, efforts to protect oneself emotionally from criticism, physical damage and other things as well.

You will need to consider some things.  First, what are you looking for on the second date?  Are you comfortable having sex that fast?  If not, that may be part of the issue.  I know I have felt rushed into sex at times.

Are you attracted to her physically, or are you more concerned what other people would think of you for dating a girl who has her looks and or body type?  It sounds like you are potentially talking yourself into the former, and possibly worried about the latter.  In a real romantic relationship, looks tend to be secondary to how you feel about one another.

And also, as anxious as you seem to be, I would bet that you're looking too hard for the romantic relationship you want from ARL, which is likely going to sabotage the program.  In fact as I recall, you told me you were going to do something else and focus on school instead.

If you feel like this girl is of interest, get to know her better before making a choice, so you don't potentially throw away what could be a good thing.  But also consider that you may be moving too fast into sex, as well.

Stop focusing so much on it and let the program do it's thing.