Sadly I can't say i'm to that point, but that makes sense why things are weird at the moment.
After I wrote that, in the following days. I had the urge to do 'social pressure' exercises again, I feel it was inspired by OGSF. I went to the supermarket and did 'box on condoms in a basket' where you put a box of condoms in a basket and walk around, I was going and standing next to women and letting myself feel what was coming up.
After doing so I was sitting in my car and I was thinking "that didn't seem to bring much up for me" and I realized that I seemed to barely have any anxiety, like it wasn't in the background like usual.
But as soon as I realized that then it come back strongly.
That was the weekend, this week i've been feeling absolutely destroyed. Very depressed and completely exhausted.
2 days ago I had this big urge to look at porn, due to the usual frustration around girls. I put OGSF on for 20 minutes and felt relaxation, then a bit later it got stronger, another 20 minutes and it passed and I managed not to go into the spiral of a porn binge. Yesterday similar urges, listened twice again, 20 minutes each time. For some reason that feels like the right amount of time and what the urge is telling me, and I was more relaxed after, still felt really exhausted and down but less of that urge.
Today again the same urges, I was getting frustrated then I thought "ok, one day at a time, instead of thinking I have to not look at porn forever, lets just do not looking at it today for now".
UH, OGSF v1 i'd play when I had the urge to look at porn and I noticed it seemed to mostly make it stronger and i'd usually still do it, but OGSF v2 helps reduce it to a manageable level.
Also the exhaustion is so high that yesterday I just couldn't bring myself to do my normal workout, I did some stretching and gentle movement type stuff. Today more exhaustion, I did some gentle stuff that I do most days, but way slower than usual.
Been watching Afterlife (Ricky Gervais) and it's really hitting upon how i'm feeling right now.
I've been wondering why the exhaustion, the strong depression I could see as being stirred up by OGSF, similar to what i've felt on past programs but stronger. I realized the exhaustion is related to this program, because earlier in the day I did 20 minutes of ocean surf and felt worse, more exhausted. Then a bit later did 20 minutes of ultrasonic, and almost as soon as I put it on my energy improved.
I barely have any energy to get annoyed at things, pissed off at things like I can't even summon up the energy to have those emotions. On other programs by now i'd have had previews of confidence, feeling stronger in myself or whatever.. but so far on this tons of deep intensity and depression.
After I wrote that, in the following days. I had the urge to do 'social pressure' exercises again, I feel it was inspired by OGSF. I went to the supermarket and did 'box on condoms in a basket' where you put a box of condoms in a basket and walk around, I was going and standing next to women and letting myself feel what was coming up.
After doing so I was sitting in my car and I was thinking "that didn't seem to bring much up for me" and I realized that I seemed to barely have any anxiety, like it wasn't in the background like usual.
But as soon as I realized that then it come back strongly.
That was the weekend, this week i've been feeling absolutely destroyed. Very depressed and completely exhausted.
2 days ago I had this big urge to look at porn, due to the usual frustration around girls. I put OGSF on for 20 minutes and felt relaxation, then a bit later it got stronger, another 20 minutes and it passed and I managed not to go into the spiral of a porn binge. Yesterday similar urges, listened twice again, 20 minutes each time. For some reason that feels like the right amount of time and what the urge is telling me, and I was more relaxed after, still felt really exhausted and down but less of that urge.
Today again the same urges, I was getting frustrated then I thought "ok, one day at a time, instead of thinking I have to not look at porn forever, lets just do not looking at it today for now".
UH, OGSF v1 i'd play when I had the urge to look at porn and I noticed it seemed to mostly make it stronger and i'd usually still do it, but OGSF v2 helps reduce it to a manageable level.
Also the exhaustion is so high that yesterday I just couldn't bring myself to do my normal workout, I did some stretching and gentle movement type stuff. Today more exhaustion, I did some gentle stuff that I do most days, but way slower than usual.
Been watching Afterlife (Ricky Gervais) and it's really hitting upon how i'm feeling right now.
I've been wondering why the exhaustion, the strong depression I could see as being stirred up by OGSF, similar to what i've felt on past programs but stronger. I realized the exhaustion is related to this program, because earlier in the day I did 20 minutes of ocean surf and felt worse, more exhausted. Then a bit later did 20 minutes of ultrasonic, and almost as soon as I put it on my energy improved.
I barely have any energy to get annoyed at things, pissed off at things like I can't even summon up the energy to have those emotions. On other programs by now i'd have had previews of confidence, feeling stronger in myself or whatever.. but so far on this tons of deep intensity and depression.
