Transcendental Sith Lord's OGSFv2 5.11G Journal

[DarthXedonias]

@ncbeareatingman Thanks. Its interesting while I was writing that I actually had to stop and think a lot because as I was reviewing what was shown to me I just realized how deep my subconscious is trying to get me to think on these things. Also i realize i could of have used any number of examples instead of painting to explain the overall concepts and underlying assumptions but for some reason at that time painting was the method that seemed to best explain this type of thinking to me.

@Shannon I do think most likely it is. The curious thing is with that type of thinking exhibited by the "painting reality" example i seem to be able to look beyond good and evil as it were. As in by stepping back to a much larger view of the world good and evil just become different strokes on the mural that humanity is making. That then makes it so that I look at the horrible stuff that happened to me and I almost have this sense of indifference. Its just another stroke on the painting and i just so happened to witness it. It could have just as easily been someone else. Just because I was there for it doesn't mean I have to let this stroke mess up whatever I have planned for my work on the mural. As for other things I noticed with the PTSD I have less "flashbacks" as it were but if I have one now I kind of act differently from before. usually I notice they have less emotional turmoil and right afterwards I get right back to normal. I sit there and think why that happened and why I felt that way. Oh also forgot, though I don't know if its important. I noticed during that time when I was lucid dreaming i was actually talking in my sleep while those dreams I mentioned happened. I'm pretty sure I said no a bunch of times out loud. I only see this as significant because this is the first time this has ever happened. I never, ever talk in my sleep. This is the first time it has ever happened to my understanding.