09-24-2023, 08:07 PM
(09-24-2023, 12:15 PM)Shannon Wrote: I was really terrified of having someone I was interested in knowing it when I was in high school and after for a couple years. That's usually a fear of rejection and vulnerability. The solution I found is to basically learn to stop taking things personally, and make a game out of it. Basically most of the time, I'm saying ridiculous things to make myself laugh, and they tend to get caught up in it with me, which makes it easy to play with them and work that into flirtation. I never presume they're interested, and keep it to "I'm just having fun here, and she can join me." It requires a sort of emotional disconnection, and not caring what the outcome is, what she thinks, and being focused on if I'm having fun and laughing. My sense of humor is quite ridiculous, much like yours.
But it's hard to share how I handled it through text since it's not a single thing and not simple to explain. It comes down to learning to distance oneself emotionally from the situation and any particular outcome, and from the people you're playing with to the right degree, and knowing that because it's just being silly and making yourself laugh and have fun, it doesn't matter as long as you're having fun with it.
There's more but I don't know how to explain it. But you have to keep desire, goals and neediness out of it, and make it only "just being silly and having fun" without concern for anything else. I'm not sure if that's anything you haven't already done or figured out, but maybe it'll help some.
Thanks Shannon, definately fear of rejection for me.
It's funny cos I have come across this multiple times, a similar mindset to what you're suggesting put in different ways, and occasionally have had that. But in the moment I don't even think of it, and the emotions make me unable to do so, it's like I just want it so bad.
