Transcendental Sith Lord's OGSFv2 5.11G Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Thought I would right this up since I did forget some things in my last post. 

This is probably the best working sub I have ever tried so far. I might want to add that like @Magnus has said in his journal I have found myself being a lot more social, people wanting to engage with me more and me wanting to talk more as well. 

There is one other major thing that has really changed. My sexuality and feelings about it. Don't mean in an orientation type of way. I mean as in I actual unabashedly desire sex and have no shame regarding that. Also my mind just has this desire towards pleasure. As if when I get some kind of pleasurable feeling I just let myself get swept up in it. I don't think this means I lack self control. Its just that in those moments that are supposed to be pleasurable I just allow myself to relax and be in that moment. With this when I have had sexual thoughts of encounters I might have its like I have this total sexual confidence in my mind and how I would act in such instances. Btw, when I mention this the desire is for real sex, not porn. I don't know what got cleared up but something got corrected to the point that I don't see porn as a real alternative option. Only the real thing will suffice and I'm willing to give myself over to it fully. I think its with changes like these that yeah after 6 months if I want to run DMSI, its alternative or even one of the old magnet programs I think I would execute no problem whatsoever. Whatever sexual hang-ups or traumas I had are completely gone now. I don't feel any hesitation in this area. 

As a last note I do plan on actually playing by ear regarding my listen schedule. It will be close to the instructions but probably just a little bit more.