EP's UH (Universal Healing) Journal

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Note: I'm updating this journal because this is the last journal I was using before I stopped using my UH subliminal. I stopped because I intended to get the Money Magnet subliminal, and I need that now more than ever rn it seems, due to what just happened to me today. 

My situation lately is pretty fucked. Just when I thought I'd fixed things (I'd jsut recently gotten suspended from work because my bike got stolen and the bus route had changed on me, unbeknownst to me, so I bought a new bile and rode it to work today in order to not get fired for being late again, which set me back over $200) and things were looking up (because I'd fixed the situation and sorted things out with my manager), life takes one great big shit on my head after another: I lost my phone, which had my cards and ID in it, and on my way to go back to where I last had it to go look for it, a sticker in the grass popped my bike tire, setting me back even further and slowing me down, and now I can't bike to work and if I'm late one more time I'm  fired. And I can't buy a new tire without my cards. And I have work at 8am tomorrow. And I live quite a distance away from my work place. And I can't call in and tell them I might be late on account of what happened. Oh, and I'm trying to get a medical waiver to join the army, which I have like a year left to do before I am too old, and once I get that waiver, I'm still in the delayed entry program, so I'm racing against the clock. And I needed my ID to move forward in that process, so now I'll have to get a new ID. But I have no transport, no phone and no means of paying for transport. And I can't call anyone for help, because I don't have a phone. Not that there's anyone to call. I've disowned my brother and stand by that decision even now, and even if I had my phone, I can't get a hold of my one friend I've made out here anyway, but now I REALLY can't get a hold of him. FML

At least I'm payed up on rent for the month. Oh, and if I want to get into that Babyklok show which I payed a bunch of money for, I'ma need a phone. Guess I'll be talking to Wells Fargo tomorrow about getting a new card so I can go to Wal Mart and pay for one. But wait! I can't do that without my ID. And I can't get a new ID without knowing where tf to go. And I can't find where to go because I don't have a hone to look it up and follow the damn maps on. And I don't have a printer to print directions. Fuck. 

I'll figure it out tomorrow. What a shitty day.

But yeah, I really need to get MM.

EDIT: So I went to bed, woke up early, and I'm so full of anxiety over this, I CAN'T go back to sleep now. I'm freaking out! I've only got 4 hours of sleep and I got work in a few. I don't know what to do. And all day, I thought I was in a mostly good place. Sure, I still would have some grudges flare up, but I'd quickly get my mind off it and back to focusing on whatever positive shit I could, and still I was vibrating from such a shitty place energetically that this happened and now I'm WAYY worse off! I don't know what to do to fix that! If only a bit of being in a bad mood each day, even when I get my mind off it can do this, but being in a good mood for equal amounts of the day isn't enough to manifest it's opposite then how in the hell do I manifest anything good?! That's the worry I'm having right now. It feels like all I do is manifest mildly good things and then being in a bad mood for a little bit manifests complete clusterfuck after clusterfuck, even if I get my mind off it and my mood improves! How in the hell does THAT work?! I thought LAw of Attraction was supposed to be a thing!

Edit again:
So I went to work today. I was late. I got up, headed out early, but when I went to the bus station, I waited at the wrong stop cuz someone told me the wrong stop to wait at then I found out the bus on Saturdays doesn't come until 8:30AM and I had work at 8am. I just broke down laughing. Not crying, laughing. Then I just threw my hands up and said "I give up. Whatever happens happens" There's more to my attitude of surrendur, but I won't say anymore about it. I eventually got to work and was like "Look, I already know I'm fired, so let's just get this over with" I was told to clock on and we'd talk about it after work. I told them everything that happened, they changed my hours to be more accommodating and warned me that if I'm late one more time, they'll just drastically cut my hours every week and if I'm late again and can't even handle THAT, they'll have to let me go. They are being extremely nice about this. I thought I was fired for sure! Anyway, from now on, I'ma just prepare microwavable premade meals in my off-time, take that shit to work with me, microwave it at work, and head there as early as possible and just fucking hang out there, even if I'm early so I'm not late. I canceled my bank card and got a new one, and also got some cash to use in the meantime while I wait, and a credit card for emergencies. I'll use that for when I buy a new phone and a bike tire. I'm still getting roughly 30-40 hours a week, thankfully. I'ma clear my online cloud docs so they can't be accessed on that phone and get a new plasma donor card as well. I'ma also take the free downtown trolley to the DMV and get a new license, which is another reason I took some cash out of the bank. Looks like I'll be alright. I was trippin cause Iw as freaking out, but it looks like things will be alright. Still gonna secretlapply for work somewhere closer to home though.