09-14-2023, 01:19 AM
Day 3 on this cycle and I noticed I have been finding myself with a urge to post more often and it's not just here I find I speak up more often in general as well I guess I just feel more at ease in so many more situations and letting who I am just be heard. I've always been known as the quiet one which is weird as I really enjoy people and spending time with people and I now find myself speaking up more so I'm guessing there was fear there that is being worked on.
This sub is by far the sub that I have got the best results from so far and really apart from some of my days off felt no resistance from or urge to stop using. There is a feeling of a strong sense of self building up it's hard to describe but was invited to drinks at work and felt no urge to go because I have to focus on myself, in the past always felt the urge because I felt I needed the validation that I was ok and that people really liked me and that was a way of proving it this time I felt fine just saying I've got to focus on my health so maybe some other time. There is also a feeling that everything in life will be ok and that actually my life is pretty good, a lot of my old negative self talk seems to have faded away now that I'm listening again.
Also at work this is having the most dramatic results. I have been trying to get in to work with the C Suite for a number of years but today was asked if I would come present something to them, also people are randomly starting conversations and being overly nice to me at work as well as listening to everything I say. It's quite a stark contrast to even at the start of this sub. So far it's been quite an amazing journey and it's just getting started, I'm guessing I never realized quite how much fear, guilt, shame and trauma I was carrying around with me. Will be interesting to see where the next 5 months brings me.
This sub is by far the sub that I have got the best results from so far and really apart from some of my days off felt no resistance from or urge to stop using. There is a feeling of a strong sense of self building up it's hard to describe but was invited to drinks at work and felt no urge to go because I have to focus on myself, in the past always felt the urge because I felt I needed the validation that I was ok and that people really liked me and that was a way of proving it this time I felt fine just saying I've got to focus on my health so maybe some other time. There is also a feeling that everything in life will be ok and that actually my life is pretty good, a lot of my old negative self talk seems to have faded away now that I'm listening again.
Also at work this is having the most dramatic results. I have been trying to get in to work with the C Suite for a number of years but today was asked if I would come present something to them, also people are randomly starting conversations and being overly nice to me at work as well as listening to everything I say. It's quite a stark contrast to even at the start of this sub. So far it's been quite an amazing journey and it's just getting started, I'm guessing I never realized quite how much fear, guilt, shame and trauma I was carrying around with me. Will be interesting to see where the next 5 months brings me.
The only person in life that can ever hold you back is yourself. So get out of your own way and start living the life you always dreamed of
