08-07-2023, 03:53 AM
So I've listened to my loop for the day.
Still getting in a trickle of translation jobs, nothing new as of yet on the financial/jobs front.
There's a part of me that considers myself a really wicked, evil person for reasons I will not go into here, and thus is guilt-ridden and this is directly related to my ED problems which have escalated after my psychotic break (although TBH I wouldn't know as I've stopped masturbating and have no sexual partners right now, but my libido feels flat. I do get the occasional morning wood or a chubby when I think of something arousing but it's not a full erection). I need to do something about this; perhaps some EPHRA would do me good (I'm already in therapy).
One thing that happened is I got attacked by some crazy guy who got it in his mind I'm "a snitch" and that I've snitched on him (I didn't. I'm an anarchist, I don't go to the cops, lol. Besides my experience tells that my local police is not to be trusted). He got physical, but I merely deflected his blows and waited for him to leave which he did after a while. Haven't seem him since but it seems to me like he's observing me (lives somewhere nearby). I occasionally have to face degenerates like that because they're somehow aggressive towards me for no reason, maybe except the fact that I'm a big guy and a little bit on the intimidating side. Hopefully he'll leave me alone, if he does not - I will do what's necessary to protect myself. I can't find my pepper spray, though, borrowed another can from my brother. Don't know whether the grounding shield helped here or not.
Still getting in a trickle of translation jobs, nothing new as of yet on the financial/jobs front.
There's a part of me that considers myself a really wicked, evil person for reasons I will not go into here, and thus is guilt-ridden and this is directly related to my ED problems which have escalated after my psychotic break (although TBH I wouldn't know as I've stopped masturbating and have no sexual partners right now, but my libido feels flat. I do get the occasional morning wood or a chubby when I think of something arousing but it's not a full erection). I need to do something about this; perhaps some EPHRA would do me good (I'm already in therapy).
One thing that happened is I got attacked by some crazy guy who got it in his mind I'm "a snitch" and that I've snitched on him (I didn't. I'm an anarchist, I don't go to the cops, lol. Besides my experience tells that my local police is not to be trusted). He got physical, but I merely deflected his blows and waited for him to leave which he did after a while. Haven't seem him since but it seems to me like he's observing me (lives somewhere nearby). I occasionally have to face degenerates like that because they're somehow aggressive towards me for no reason, maybe except the fact that I'm a big guy and a little bit on the intimidating side. Hopefully he'll leave me alone, if he does not - I will do what's necessary to protect myself. I can't find my pepper spray, though, borrowed another can from my brother. Don't know whether the grounding shield helped here or not.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
