05-05-2023, 08:01 PM
I just realized something, in my subconscious I'm always the victim, stuff happens and in my mind is like I'm hopeless and can't do anything about it, not even worth trying it seems, is just I get paralyzed or maybe because of my relation with my family behaving submissive for avoiding troubles, also related to overprotection from them. Then suddenly while I'm doing my stuff along with some intrusive thoughts caused by fear about me getting harm or killed this thought came to me, a thought about me actually defending myself from harm or getting killed and believing it possible, why should I let something or someone to harm myself if I can protect myself and deal harm as well, is just stupid to allow myself or something else to crush myself, I'm starting to believe I'm no more victim of fate or myself, actually able to decide and act according to it being the execution the main issue.
