The Modern Libertine's diary

[FunkeyMonkey]

Perhaps I can shed some light. Being uninterested in women is a state in which a man is so self sufficient that his needs are being provided for internally. He does not need women, and his drive to reproduce is under his conscious control. He is, first and foremost, in complete (or at least very high levels of) control of himself.

If you have never experienced this before, it will be hard to understand, or see as a "value add", but I'll try to explain. You and I and all males have a deep, innate urge to reproduce our genes. It's a constant push, and you become used to it. Over time, it becomes normal. You don't think of it as "that monkey on your back" because that monkey seems to BE your back, metaphorically speaking.

But when suddenly you are not being driven to find a woman, when you are happy with your own company, when you can say no to an offer of sex because something about it - or her - displeases you... when you no longer are a slave to your genetic animal drive to reproduce... it is a very freeing experience. It is a freedom that very few men ever experience.

And that freedom is in itself enjoyable, but the real value add is that when you achieve that freedom, women see that you are now displaying the actions, attitudes and other signals that mark you as a leader, a man who has high enough value that he doesn't need women, and therefore a man who has options. Such a man is unusual at best, and probably pretty rare more realistically, but such a man also is what her genes are telling her she wants in a man more than anything else: the strong, self sufficient leader. The man who can protect, provide, and control. The alpha male. The man who has the best genes and the best chance of allowing her to reproduce hers successfully.

Being uninterested in women, ironically, is the best way to get them. And it allows the man the freedom to do other things with his life than spend it trying to get them, too. It's a win win for everyone.

And when a man has that attitude, it's going to take a high quality woman to interest him, and he therefore will naturally attract and end up with a good mate.

What's not a value add here?

Hey Guys,
Sorry for the delay in responding. I get crazy busy during the week sometimes.

I appreciate the thoughtful responses (Shannon, Cortez, Tiesto, RainbowAbyss).

I agree that a man being completely free to say “no” to a woman, because she displeases him or is simply not attractive to him, is a freedom. I also agree that when a man is fully complete within himself and happy with himself, this is also a great place to be and emotionally healthy.

In addition, I also agree that a man who is uninterested, self-sufficient, aloof, or comes across as someone who is happy with himself, is attractive to women.

Here is where I diverge.

When a man has all of the above qualities but is not flexible enough to take action, talk to a woman, feel desire, feel feelings, lead a woman, or be warm with a woman in a way that facilitates a meaningful connection with a woman, he is essentially nothing more than an island and all of the aforementioned qualities, that we‘ve summed up as "uninterested," become Absolutely Valueless.

-- Because --

I would argue that there is no such thing as a man who has such high value that he doesn't need a woman. In fact, I would argue, that science will prove, without a shadow of doubt, that such a thing does not exist on this planet.

Men need women and women need men. That's a fact. Any attempt to reverse that natural law will end in misery, neurosis and a distorted leaking of this natural desire.

It’s Natural Law

If Natural Law is not respected, Natural Law with smack said guy up the head like a BEEEOTCH. Period.

So what I'm saying is, being uninterested in women, on to itself, devoid of the flexibility to temporarily move out of that place, in a confident, warm, and life affirming manner, has no value add.

An existing danger is that it can be an easy place to hide for a man because it feels powerful (in the short run) but if a man gets stuck there, he is a Lonely, Rigid, Island -- who feels powerful.