03-26-2023, 01:12 PM
I'm back from doing laundry, and I'm watching my thoughts and emotions. I'm also remembering what I felt 45 minutes ago. I wrote referencing those men I saw, and they left the building for a while, which is when I began writing. Near the end I began crying quietly with noone around me.
Then they returned. One guy was big. But not intimidating. I watched him when they were walking back in, and my tears rose up quickly, so I turned away. Fact: I know I've pasted images of my past onto many people in my life.......but the tears rose since I saw a social, welcoming man, and the loud fact that I've pushed so many caring people away hit me deeply. I was folding my laundry, but my gut was shaking as I quietly cried. Still soft.
i also remembering a scared, angry part of me wishing to delete the post after I left. I'm gonna leave it. It exposes a lot of what I've hid from myself and others.
Then they returned. One guy was big. But not intimidating. I watched him when they were walking back in, and my tears rose up quickly, so I turned away. Fact: I know I've pasted images of my past onto many people in my life.......but the tears rose since I saw a social, welcoming man, and the loud fact that I've pushed so many caring people away hit me deeply. I was folding my laundry, but my gut was shaking as I quietly cried. Still soft.
i also remembering a scared, angry part of me wishing to delete the post after I left. I'm gonna leave it. It exposes a lot of what I've hid from myself and others.
I want to be FREE!
