Feb. 21, 2023
E5 began bringing some uncomfortableness today. I've not really wanted to share this, but avoiding major issues does not feel right.
I worked with a guy today, and maybe due to E5, I had not even a thought of brotherly associations. And then, around 10AM, that awareness came. I began feeling anxious. i'd unconciously been opening my heart some, as there was a bit of healthy verbal sparring going on. And when the trauma feelings started surfacing, I tried following what came up in me, like new thought patterns. Nothing negative forced its way out of me, and damn, he even bought lunch for us and had it delievered to our shop.
Nothing came between us.......but as the day ended I felt tired, as I could feel E5 working on something. I came home and was soon in bed. I turned on loops, and my 3rd is still running now. When I first began i sensed a nonverbal part of me being very fearful. I felt my stomach muscles tensing up, yet my conscious mind was not running this.
I'll look back for a few minutes and reflect on today. I had tears pop up while working near him in the morning. I don't even know why, but they came up and I released them. i still sense they were connected to something much deeper. The tears were from something lost. It lasted maybe 15 seconds max, but I felt it.
Something else happened yesterday with another guy I see everyday. I've spent the last 2 Thanksgivings with him and his family. Both times I've taken home the turkey carcass, and I pulled a ton of meat off which I use for my crockpot meals. I came to work yesterday, and he told me he had a surprise. It was another carcass, and I pulled off a ton of meat (and fat--where all the flavor comes from). That act sat with me, softening me some.
Yeah, this is definitely E5 working. Opportunities popping up to allow healing. This has been a very rich week so far.
E5 began bringing some uncomfortableness today. I've not really wanted to share this, but avoiding major issues does not feel right.
I worked with a guy today, and maybe due to E5, I had not even a thought of brotherly associations. And then, around 10AM, that awareness came. I began feeling anxious. i'd unconciously been opening my heart some, as there was a bit of healthy verbal sparring going on. And when the trauma feelings started surfacing, I tried following what came up in me, like new thought patterns. Nothing negative forced its way out of me, and damn, he even bought lunch for us and had it delievered to our shop.
Nothing came between us.......but as the day ended I felt tired, as I could feel E5 working on something. I came home and was soon in bed. I turned on loops, and my 3rd is still running now. When I first began i sensed a nonverbal part of me being very fearful. I felt my stomach muscles tensing up, yet my conscious mind was not running this.
I'll look back for a few minutes and reflect on today. I had tears pop up while working near him in the morning. I don't even know why, but they came up and I released them. i still sense they were connected to something much deeper. The tears were from something lost. It lasted maybe 15 seconds max, but I felt it.
Something else happened yesterday with another guy I see everyday. I've spent the last 2 Thanksgivings with him and his family. Both times I've taken home the turkey carcass, and I pulled a ton of meat off which I use for my crockpot meals. I came to work yesterday, and he told me he had a surprise. It was another carcass, and I pulled off a ton of meat (and fat--where all the flavor comes from). That act sat with me, softening me some.
Yeah, this is definitely E5 working. Opportunities popping up to allow healing. This has been a very rich week so far.
I want to be FREE!
