01-21-2023, 12:17 PM
I’m not sure if I’m experiencing OGSF TID or not because some shame has been coming up. But then again shame seems to be coming up along with the fear lately. I would say fear is my biggest problem followed closely by shame. I’m sure I have problems with guilt, it’s just way lower than fear and shame. I seem to have dealt with it better over the years of subs, cause I use to have a lot of guilting due to my mom’s toxic parenting.
It wouldn’t make sense for me to be experiencing TID yet since I don’t plan to run OGSF till I finish my 7 months of OF and I still have about 2 months (1.5 without a two week break) till I’ll be running it. Unless TID can suddenly hit 2 months in advance it’s likely just shame entangled with the fear, which seems to be the case for a lot of the fear I’ve been dealing with lately.
For example in school a lot I would disrupt class with jokes and some of the time my classmates would ridicule me or the teacher would punish me. This would result in a mixture of shame and fear.
I’m excited as hell for my OGSF run. I’ve already made so much progress on OF4, but it’s not enough. I want more. I can’t live like I’ve been living, I need to get to the root of my problems.
It wouldn’t make sense for me to be experiencing TID yet since I don’t plan to run OGSF till I finish my 7 months of OF and I still have about 2 months (1.5 without a two week break) till I’ll be running it. Unless TID can suddenly hit 2 months in advance it’s likely just shame entangled with the fear, which seems to be the case for a lot of the fear I’ve been dealing with lately.
For example in school a lot I would disrupt class with jokes and some of the time my classmates would ridicule me or the teacher would punish me. This would result in a mixture of shame and fear.
I’m excited as hell for my OGSF run. I’ve already made so much progress on OF4, but it’s not enough. I want more. I can’t live like I’ve been living, I need to get to the root of my problems.
