Attract Romantic Love 5.8G

[Reznik]

The second post: An update? So it's been a little over two months which I know is the minimum time to listen. I think in this post I want to record some events, thoughts and feelings about the sub.

Four days after I started the sub (August 28) I was at the hockey rink where I had just finished skating with my son. We were in the restaurant when I saw a woman come up to the service desk. I thought damn, she's attractive. She was about 5' 8" athletic / sporty build, tan. But right away since I had only been listening to the sub four days I shut down all the thinking that tried to creep into my mind. Thoughts like: is she the one, could that be her, etc?

Fast forward to the following week and it was my first day at an adult learn to play hockey class. And there she was, the same woman from the previous week but now all dressed out in hockey gear and was also in the class. I saw she had Polish writing on her jersey and made a note of it. Later I heard her talking and she had an accent. I finally got a chance to talk to her and learned she was Polish and had been living in my city for only a week. Within minutes of talking to her she asked me for my phone number so she could text me some information about a hockey camp in Czech Republic. I'll be honest in my mind I was already ticking boxes:
she just came to my city (came into my life),
she asked me for my number within minutes of meeting her and I can get to know her a bit and ask her out

I was thinking this is happening like on the description page of the sub! After the skate we texted for several hours for the rest of the day. She's also pescatarian, she has no kids, likes travel...so many boxes ticked that the universe knows is what I'd like in a romantic partner. I was excited yet tried to keep cool and not think about the sub or force anything. But here there's a major caveat: she was studying for a board exam and she wasn't interested in meeting for drinks or a coffee until after her exam (first week of November) so she could focus on studying. Understandable that she didn't want to start into a relationship/dating until after her exam.

We continued texting daily for the first week but I was starting to notice some things. By the second week I noticed she refused to answer anything personal. She refused to talk about anything other than hockey and she never asked me a single "get to know you" question about myself. By the second week I also noticed she was a "one upper". That is, anything I said she had to one up it, and beat it with a better story. Already these are major red flags for me. So I started to forget about her. I literally felt nothing towards her. No excitement, no anticipation. I even deleted her contact from my phone. After one week of no messages she wrote me "how's your hockey life?" So I wrote a bit about the class (which she never returned to). After this time the texts came in once every 3 or 4 days. I started to notice she would flat out not even comment on many of my texts. When I told her I scored my first goal for example, no comment. So at this point I told myself "this is not the one for me. A loving universe that I believe in, would not send me a woman like this (a narcissist lacking empathy sociopath)."

Fast forward more weeks and the texts would come trickling in once a week, but very boring, no depth, very shallow superficial conversation. Obviously she's not into me, and I'm not into her. But as a new hockey player, it is nice to talk to her about hockey things. Last week she wrote me that she'll be really busy in November skiing and traveling and being on call. Which I believe is her way of letting me know there will be no coffee or drinks. And that's fine. I'm not interested in getting to know her further. We haven't even seen each other since that first day in August. So here we are the weekend of her exams, and no text from her letting me know her exams are over and she's free to meet. So I think I guessed correctly. I've already deleted her contact again so I can't write her even if I wanted to.

I'll freely admit that for the first week I thought she was the one that the universe had brought into my life how the sub is supposed to do. But I quickly realized no, she's not. And like I said, strangely I felt nothing towards her.

So some general observations about the sub. After it kicked in (so after the first few weeks) it does a great job of having me not think about it. The set it and forget it works. I even find myself not even being interested in wanting to date anyone, yet at the same time there isn't a feeling of like I'm holding myself back "waiting for the right one" if that makes sense. I've just been doing my thing (that is working and going to the gym and to hockey practice). This sub is really weird in that by its design you're not going to see any results or effects or improvements. I play it at night... and during the day I don't think about it yet by its design a woman will come into my life somehow (which is what it's designed to do). It's almost like a faith or trust. Some people may not be able to handle that part of it. But I believe it will work eventually, somehow. The sub really does well to help you not think about it. Just play it and do your daily life thing. If I don't think about it, it's fine. If I catch myself wondering about it, it's very strange and I have to make myself stop thinking about it.

Now for me personally I've come to a crossroad. I'm starting to feel impatient (but that's me) because I really want to start maximum learning speed and change my career and get a six figure income. On the other side, I hate being alone at the holidays and they are quickly approaching. I'd love to have a romantic partner by then to share them with. So, keep listening to Attract Romantic Love and hope something happens by the holidays, or start maximum learning speed and get a new career and then start romantic love again later?...This question has been at the forefront of my thoughts the last week or so. And I'm worried I may have sabotaged romantic love somehow even though I didn't mean to. I understand from the description page it could be like a co-worker or someone I've known for awhile and then we just recognize we should be a thing. But right now there is no woman in my life that is a viable candidate for that kind of scenario and I don't know how or where she would come from. I even wanted to start listening to self esteem again (like maintenance mode) just to keep it strong.  

So that's where I'm at with this.