Quote:My god, you described it perfectly. I know exactly what you mean. It's as if you become acutely aware of even the slightest form of manipulation or disrespect. It's as if your mind is sat there eagle eyed waiting and watching for it. It's not even right to call it manipulation or disrespect really as it is so incredibly minor, it would usually go totally unnoticed. It's almost as if your mind is seeking these little, tiny disrespect's so it can feel that 'tension' feeling inside you. During stage 1 and 2 It's as if you're being trained to resent any form of manipulation what so ever. This definitely calms down during latter stages. It's like you become incredibly sensitive to any one trying to dominate you as a means to 'grow a backbone', once that's done the program soothes it and you'll feel much more well adjusted than you do now and have done in the past. There is no way whatsoever anyone could take advantage of me any more, but at the same time I've become a lot less aware of the little tiny day to day naturally occurring annoyances that I was so tuned into seeing during the first 2 stages.
Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like, you feel very on guard. I feel quite aggressive at the moment which is unusual for me. I also feel tense and fed up with a lot of people. I know this will pass and I'm quite looking forward to the later, happier stages of the set where I can just relax a lot more, meet people and have fun. At the moment I don't really feel like meeting up with people and have been spending a lot of time by myself doing my own thing. I liked your cocoon/butterfly analogy and think that sums up perfectly what I'm going through. I feel like I am changing and growing into a stronger, better person. I think it was Shannon who said that the MUWAS sub feels like your destiny is being rewritten, it's funny because that's exactly how I feel at the moment.
