Overcoming Fear v4: The Special Case Files

[StridingStrider]

Cycle #8 Off #2

Got another itchy spot on my bladder. Only two active at the moment, and they're not that itchy. Also, something which may be of note I've removed a window cover which blocked half of the window in my bedroom. I've now got a full view of the outside, letting all the light in. I wonder if that's symbolic of something.

Been feeling a lot more confident lately, despite the lack of dreaming. Woke up early today too, probably got like four hours sleep. Much less emotional releases, but they do still come when I induce them.

That sounds like whatever is being processed is making progress.  Opening the window isn't just symbolic (not hiding from the world, maybe, or moving away from some sort of negative emotional state?), it's also affective, in that you're getting more light, which will improve your brain function and probably help with emotional states to some degree.

I think it's a fear related to low self esteem, like being judge on what I do. But it's hard to say for sure. All I know is I'm less concerned about privacy.

Cycle #9 On #1

I had another emotional release before running the sub last night. This seems to a be reoccurring theme. I feel better each time it happens though. It's not entirely spontaneous; reading Rumi or practicing gratitude and love will trigger me to start crying. It feels good actually. Like I'm finally aware of how I feel, and have emotions other than fear, guilt or shame.

Four days seemed like a long time but after running it last night my head feels fuller, so I guess four days off is needed to decode everything. My confidence is higher as well. Less of a need to run off when uncomfortable (if they appear) feelings surface. I'm still off work however at the moment so I'm not tested as much right now. But that's just around the corner. I'm feeling that Hybrid is right for me at this moment.