08-11-2022, 09:46 PM
Day on 2:
Welp Yesterday sucked...
1st: So i had that talk with my jobcoach and imediatly came up for a job as a dinnerwasher just because I said it was not the worst job at the same time he also advised me to take a new education in a job that had the most change of me getting hired but I'm also stuck at taking care of our dog when my mom goes on vacation in september and I also have to help with the dog of my brother and sister in law in october and I told him about it however I start to doubt if he cares.. Also is it normale to update your job resume with a 2 month test trial?
In the end I think the true reason I got extremely pissed was because normally he would took a long while to find a job for me and now when I NEED the time to get OCF4 in my subconcious he got a new place to look at in the next 2 weeks..
not to mention that I still might not be able to work fast enough to stay there even if I wanted to..
and ofcourse the new education where yes the topic does interest me but I still lack the confidence to succeed at it..
and ofcourse because destiny said fuck you: my D&D session got cancelled at the last hour and I threw my frustration at them (even though it was not there fault that they got sick)
after explaining they luckly understood it and they even want to help me fix up my life aswell..
but yeah I spend the last evening living in self hate: Hate of my autism,Hate of the fact that I'm scared about working,Hate of the fact that I'm not a fast learner and things get complicated quickly,Hate that I dont have Quick reflexes and Hate that I dont have my life on track even though thats the entire reason I'm here in the first place but thats where the biggest one comes in
HATE: THAT I USED MY SUBS WRONG FOR 2 YEARS!!
I know that I was supposed to avoid all that self hate stuff but I couldn't because it was an important part of my life that my jobcoach,my friends and I did online...
but Like I said I'm happy my friends want to help me out in the future and I know the subs will too it's just I start to lack time to get my live and track and I'm very fearfull about my future, I need to find a way to buy time so I can slowly get my life on track with the subs.
Welp Yesterday sucked...
1st: So i had that talk with my jobcoach and imediatly came up for a job as a dinnerwasher just because I said it was not the worst job at the same time he also advised me to take a new education in a job that had the most change of me getting hired but I'm also stuck at taking care of our dog when my mom goes on vacation in september and I also have to help with the dog of my brother and sister in law in october and I told him about it however I start to doubt if he cares.. Also is it normale to update your job resume with a 2 month test trial?
In the end I think the true reason I got extremely pissed was because normally he would took a long while to find a job for me and now when I NEED the time to get OCF4 in my subconcious he got a new place to look at in the next 2 weeks..
not to mention that I still might not be able to work fast enough to stay there even if I wanted to..
and ofcourse the new education where yes the topic does interest me but I still lack the confidence to succeed at it..
and ofcourse because destiny said fuck you: my D&D session got cancelled at the last hour and I threw my frustration at them (even though it was not there fault that they got sick)
after explaining they luckly understood it and they even want to help me fix up my life aswell..
but yeah I spend the last evening living in self hate: Hate of my autism,Hate of the fact that I'm scared about working,Hate of the fact that I'm not a fast learner and things get complicated quickly,Hate that I dont have Quick reflexes and Hate that I dont have my life on track even though thats the entire reason I'm here in the first place but thats where the biggest one comes in
HATE: THAT I USED MY SUBS WRONG FOR 2 YEARS!!
I know that I was supposed to avoid all that self hate stuff but I couldn't because it was an important part of my life that my jobcoach,my friends and I did online...
but Like I said I'm happy my friends want to help me out in the future and I know the subs will too it's just I start to lack time to get my live and track and I'm very fearfull about my future, I need to find a way to buy time so I can slowly get my life on track with the subs.
