Overcoming Fear v4: The Special Case Files

[StridingStrider]

Finished Cycle #2, ending it a day early.

Had a dream last night relating to feces. Dream have been a strong showing on v4 so far. I've releasing tears a lot more I've noticed. Probably started with TID a month or so before running OF. I've been pretty emotional in general. Reading Rumi brings me to tears, whereas a couple of years ago it wouldn't have. Is this a sign of emotional healing?

Work girl has been playing on my mind a lot too. I've been imagining positive outcomes and feeling loving energy. Is this unhealthy? Probably. But it does invoke tears in me so perhaps it's a good thing?

Cycle #3 begins tonight. I'm now reducing the off days to 3 and keeping the volume at the same level. Hopefully this'll help to program to execute better.

For me as a child I was made fun of for crying so eventually I blocked myself from crying. Part of my block is certainly fear of being ridiculed by others. I’ve noticed recently it’s easier to cry/let my eyes get watery instead of trying to blink it away all the time. Maybe you also have something like this?

Yeah. I had an unhealthy association with emotions. I was attracted to stoicism early on because of it's connotation with blocking them out. I remember as a boy beating my chest to stop myself from crying. Big boys don't cry and all that. There's a kernal of truth in it, but only later do I realise how destructive that behaviour was for my emotional health. Glad I wasn't the only one. I think you're making progress like me. Keep it up.