Day 13
I should note down the exact dates in my updates for clarity to myself as my mind tend to play tricks.
This evening I was placed in an ultimatum when it comes to habits. Im running OF now as this evening is just...weird. i feel out of control lately. Last night I played OF with the intention of 2 loops hybrid. It still played this morning because of the replay function being activated.
In the midst of these events, I saw myself in 3rd person. Weak, in a very dark and lonely place. Suffering and burning in flames. Im well aware of it being an internal thing playing in my mind. I was at my witts end. I asked myself "what am I holding on to?" After coming to the place of surrender, give up, if this is what you want... this somewhat elevated my mood. But I suspect the harsh onset on what seems to be depression this evening was due high loops.
Im running loops again tonight. Autoconfig, some huge things taking place in the background, like a grand renovation.
Amidst these experiences I was in the livestream of HoH, party being livestreamed by the organisation. I was absolutely fearless, witty, all that, just an natural IDGAF.
My drive is high, and am an ready set go kind of guy, crushing every excuse. Its tied in with grander vision. My caring about other peoples opinion in terms of can't is non existent. I see clear and am confident. I also realize how small people seem to play in general. I setting myself apart, become more self-made, alligned with intention and clarity. Knowing.
I aint for everybody. Its a journey. When it comes to playing small, I might be simply in the wrong environment as there are movers and shakers of the world in this world, who grab the world by its balls.
Life is now open world to me. Sandbox-mode where we get to create. To leave our mark, to mold. Its crazy when it comes to sandbox mode as it is completely open and when I set intention, I become it. So much is falling away im somewhat calibrating still, but im confident about it already.
Fearlessness allows me to have a need and find a solution for it like no care in the world, especially with networking. Couple this with swag, charisma, character, boom there you go. My positioning work in my favor so to say because im feeling worthy, good and confident. Assured even. Whole.
I can sense myself letting go of anger, envy and am getting better and better at it.
I should note down the exact dates in my updates for clarity to myself as my mind tend to play tricks.
This evening I was placed in an ultimatum when it comes to habits. Im running OF now as this evening is just...weird. i feel out of control lately. Last night I played OF with the intention of 2 loops hybrid. It still played this morning because of the replay function being activated.
In the midst of these events, I saw myself in 3rd person. Weak, in a very dark and lonely place. Suffering and burning in flames. Im well aware of it being an internal thing playing in my mind. I was at my witts end. I asked myself "what am I holding on to?" After coming to the place of surrender, give up, if this is what you want... this somewhat elevated my mood. But I suspect the harsh onset on what seems to be depression this evening was due high loops.
Im running loops again tonight. Autoconfig, some huge things taking place in the background, like a grand renovation.
Amidst these experiences I was in the livestream of HoH, party being livestreamed by the organisation. I was absolutely fearless, witty, all that, just an natural IDGAF.
My drive is high, and am an ready set go kind of guy, crushing every excuse. Its tied in with grander vision. My caring about other peoples opinion in terms of can't is non existent. I see clear and am confident. I also realize how small people seem to play in general. I setting myself apart, become more self-made, alligned with intention and clarity. Knowing.
I aint for everybody. Its a journey. When it comes to playing small, I might be simply in the wrong environment as there are movers and shakers of the world in this world, who grab the world by its balls.
Life is now open world to me. Sandbox-mode where we get to create. To leave our mark, to mold. Its crazy when it comes to sandbox mode as it is completely open and when I set intention, I become it. So much is falling away im somewhat calibrating still, but im confident about it already.
Fearlessness allows me to have a need and find a solution for it like no care in the world, especially with networking. Couple this with swag, charisma, character, boom there you go. My positioning work in my favor so to say because im feeling worthy, good and confident. Assured even. Whole.
I can sense myself letting go of anger, envy and am getting better and better at it.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
