05-24-2022, 09:23 AM
Day 9
So I have listened to at least 8 hours a day since day two and the strong emotional turmoil has died down quite a bit. Especially after day 3 where for the first time in my life I talked to my mother about the issues I have with my father and how it affects me to this day. I attribute the decision to have this conversation to clear out the debris to EHPRA.
Nowadays when I listen to EHPRA there's a sense of calm and I can feel the stress fade away.
I also started dreaming again on EHPRA which is nice.
Something rather bad happened yesterday. I found out that my current contract can (for now) not be extended beyond the end of June. This would put me out of work and make it much harder to financially afford to continue my PhD. However, and I attribute some of this to EHPRA, I stayed rather calm. I already know how I might continue getting paid but I'm fearing to talk to the responsible persons. It comes from a mindset of "as long as I don't face it, I don't have to deal with it" adding huge opportunity costs to my life.
Also, my procrastination only marginally changed for the better. In addition masturbation and porn consumption got much worse again. Since I don't have time to loose for my PhD anymore and I suspect all the things holding me back coming from fear, I'm strongly considering jumping ship to Overcoming Fear. However, I'm undecided if this is a good idea given the circumstances and my story, so I would like to have some expert opinion on this.
So I have listened to at least 8 hours a day since day two and the strong emotional turmoil has died down quite a bit. Especially after day 3 where for the first time in my life I talked to my mother about the issues I have with my father and how it affects me to this day. I attribute the decision to have this conversation to clear out the debris to EHPRA.
Nowadays when I listen to EHPRA there's a sense of calm and I can feel the stress fade away.
I also started dreaming again on EHPRA which is nice.
Something rather bad happened yesterday. I found out that my current contract can (for now) not be extended beyond the end of June. This would put me out of work and make it much harder to financially afford to continue my PhD. However, and I attribute some of this to EHPRA, I stayed rather calm. I already know how I might continue getting paid but I'm fearing to talk to the responsible persons. It comes from a mindset of "as long as I don't face it, I don't have to deal with it" adding huge opportunity costs to my life.
Also, my procrastination only marginally changed for the better. In addition masturbation and porn consumption got much worse again. Since I don't have time to loose for my PhD anymore and I suspect all the things holding me back coming from fear, I'm strongly considering jumping ship to Overcoming Fear. However, I'm undecided if this is a good idea given the circumstances and my story, so I would like to have some expert opinion on this.
