05-06-2022, 10:11 PM
Thought I would update real quick.
It is as I thought and giving up these certain habits are really reverting my mind and brain structure to a much healthier state. Since I'm using the sub at the same time this is going on I feel as though it is probably speeding up the process and not only reverting things to a healthier state but also changing things so that the sub can more easily achieve its goals. I have this strange feeling while trying to rest that I am slowly "losing" myself. This does prompt a some what fear like feeling but I am dealing with it. Its like I'm finding it harder and harder to identify with the past I had or feeling anything towards it. I just have not much interest in it nor to turn that past into my future. This scares some part of myself somewhat, hence why when i finally decided to cut out lots of youtube and web surfing as well. That seemed to be the last bastion to keep things the same.
Another thing I have experience which i chalk up to a combination of no more porn but also I believe it might be TID from the new DMSI. Along with feeling more vivid attraction towards women but also any sexuality that is felt or sexual energy is just really, really intense. I have never felt this kind of intense sexual energy. After feeling this I'm pretty confident in DMSI's goals now. I know for a fact that if I could cause a woman I am attracted to to feel this soft of raw sexual energy directed at me then I would have no issues in the dating arena.
Lastly I finally feel comfortable disclosing something. In Shannon's discussion journal I had mentioned I felt like I had to incidences that felt related to the concept of reality shifting he had mentioned. At the time I didn't feel comfortable mentioning them as I didn't really fully understand these incidences. They felt like something I automatically "felt" like doing usually while listening to the sub. One of these incidences was like I imagined or felt in my minds eyes an infinite amount of myself and would imagine myself moving from one of them to another getting closer to a reality where the sub was dominate. The other incidence was similar to this but it felt like I was gathering small amounts of energy from each of these different reality versions of myself and using that energy to help "move" me towards a reality where the reality is more dominate. All of this feels strange unless you have experienced but thought I would disclose that. Maybe in some way it might help others. I did find that while doing all this I would get "aha" moments where I realized something about myself that would help me resolve something that was holding me back from executing.
Anyway, that's about all I wanted to mention for now. Hopefully anything I mentioned can help out someone else here.
It is as I thought and giving up these certain habits are really reverting my mind and brain structure to a much healthier state. Since I'm using the sub at the same time this is going on I feel as though it is probably speeding up the process and not only reverting things to a healthier state but also changing things so that the sub can more easily achieve its goals. I have this strange feeling while trying to rest that I am slowly "losing" myself. This does prompt a some what fear like feeling but I am dealing with it. Its like I'm finding it harder and harder to identify with the past I had or feeling anything towards it. I just have not much interest in it nor to turn that past into my future. This scares some part of myself somewhat, hence why when i finally decided to cut out lots of youtube and web surfing as well. That seemed to be the last bastion to keep things the same.
Another thing I have experience which i chalk up to a combination of no more porn but also I believe it might be TID from the new DMSI. Along with feeling more vivid attraction towards women but also any sexuality that is felt or sexual energy is just really, really intense. I have never felt this kind of intense sexual energy. After feeling this I'm pretty confident in DMSI's goals now. I know for a fact that if I could cause a woman I am attracted to to feel this soft of raw sexual energy directed at me then I would have no issues in the dating arena.
Lastly I finally feel comfortable disclosing something. In Shannon's discussion journal I had mentioned I felt like I had to incidences that felt related to the concept of reality shifting he had mentioned. At the time I didn't feel comfortable mentioning them as I didn't really fully understand these incidences. They felt like something I automatically "felt" like doing usually while listening to the sub. One of these incidences was like I imagined or felt in my minds eyes an infinite amount of myself and would imagine myself moving from one of them to another getting closer to a reality where the sub was dominate. The other incidence was similar to this but it felt like I was gathering small amounts of energy from each of these different reality versions of myself and using that energy to help "move" me towards a reality where the reality is more dominate. All of this feels strange unless you have experienced but thought I would disclose that. Maybe in some way it might help others. I did find that while doing all this I would get "aha" moments where I realized something about myself that would help me resolve something that was holding me back from executing.
Anyway, that's about all I wanted to mention for now. Hopefully anything I mentioned can help out someone else here.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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