My OF journal

[Johannesbrst]

I'm confused how much of those improvements are from running OF, since you mentioned the changes happened in years and only in the last year you've been running OF. And how exactly did those changes occur, what behaviors or shift in thinking triggered the changes?

Ah, sorry for not being clear upon that. My healing journey went very, very slow in the beginning. Almost stale. I used LTU6 and it helped some, but I started to really note a difference about 6 months into OF, and after 9 months in it was clear that OF had played a big part in my recovery.

It's hard to pinpoint on a specific change in though patterns, rather has the change been physical, and the change in attitude, emotion and thought has come from that. I've had several episodes where I felt really knocked out, staying in bed with my whole body hurting and feeling like a junkie on cold-turkey, and the change to the better has been even more apparent after those episodes. 

I've been able to trace much of my anxiety from a physical anxiety, i.e. an inability to be physically relaxed, and OF seems to have been working on this aspect and helping me dissolve tensions. Going for walks have been superb way to deal with tensions, and to let the body find its own pace in finding ways to work trough tense tissues.

Oh yeah, one big point I forgot to mention is:

• Not having the need to blow up my own self-worth and importance by engaging in grandiose thinking - i.e. thinking I'm better than someone in some way, to make myself feel better about myself. I'm much more content with who I am and the need to compare myself to others have shrunk considerably.