"Go through all of your negative beliefs about yourself. Like, "I suck." Then trace those beliefs, one at a time, back to where they came from. If where they come from is not you, but someone else, then they are invalid beliefs for you to have because they are only someone else's OPINION and opinions are not facts. They are one person's point of view. Nobody's opinion of you should be the basis for why you believe something about yourself, ever. You should base what you believe about yourself on facts where possible, and on your OWN opinion otherwise. And don't base them on opinions you hold that are based on someone else's opinion of you, because that's not really your opinion. That's you being lazy and letting someone else think for you."
"When I think about it It's clear that it all came from my parents.
Most of the believes i got came from my mother because i spend most of my time with her.
As in i got the same insecurities as she has.
My father was pretty much a jackass.
He talked down on us alot.
He pretty much neglectud us as well and we only got attention when we did something wrong and got yelled at for it.
Or if he was in good mood for a change, mainly this happend on vacation's.
My mom got the most of it though, Thank God he never beated any of ous. but he still demended us to be perfect.
The only reason why he liked my brother was because he did the same job as our father (different company though)
""It sounds to me like the underlying issue is fear in your case. Having your father tell you to eat everything you have would instill a fear of lack of food if you don't eat everything, and telling you to hurry would make it worse by implying that you'll starve if you don't eat it all NOW."
This is also a part of it he sometimes jokingly said: if you didn't ate enough food then it's your own fault
I know he said this jokingly but i cant help but wonder if this qoute around the hollidays is a part of it too.
The moment he paid attention to me were when i cursed while playing video games. Heck when i was upset because of a broke up he told me to just get over it..
And when i was the only Child left in the house, he tried to get closer to me?
My mom Said it was a scheme to put me on a job i might not have wanted.
Then again my mom is very over protective of me. She always got scared i never came back home when i was out visiting my friends (who live across the country so travel times are mosly like 2 hours)
She also wanted me to be perfect to avoid conflict with strangers.
Because of this I wanted to be Perfect for society: have a good job, be attractive, live on your own, have a have wife and kids before you get to old.
Dont get me wrong i so want those things but i dont like the pressure i feel about it.
and because i dont have/are those things, I got the believe that i failed and sucked as a person
Both my parents also pressured me about weight loss, I know being Fat is bad and it sucks but being pressured sucks even more
Thank God 130kg is already enough for my mother.
I really didn't want to bring my parents into this as it feels like I'm blaming them for all of this but still..
I need to get rid of my parents programming how ironic it might be.
I'm also glad my mother atleast loves me even if it goes to over protection at times.
My Father died in 2016 while doing grocery shopping with my mother, He died from Torn veins at age 57.."
I just want to replace my post from General Discussion to here where it belongs but while I'm at it i might aswell try to dig some more..
But yeah.. I lost friends along the way because i never knew what to talk with them about and feeling like im just a bore even more so since i never did anything.
One friend moved away at age 14/15.. I only saw him again once he was back in my town but i needed to go home to do something. I told him I would be back but i forgot his adress..
Another thing i already told was: that last december i noticed my feeling and my logic not being in line and wondering why.. (i was at the beginning of Appetite suppresent)
"When I think about it It's clear that it all came from my parents.
Most of the believes i got came from my mother because i spend most of my time with her.
As in i got the same insecurities as she has.
My father was pretty much a jackass.
He talked down on us alot.
He pretty much neglectud us as well and we only got attention when we did something wrong and got yelled at for it.
Or if he was in good mood for a change, mainly this happend on vacation's.
My mom got the most of it though, Thank God he never beated any of ous. but he still demended us to be perfect.
The only reason why he liked my brother was because he did the same job as our father (different company though)
""It sounds to me like the underlying issue is fear in your case. Having your father tell you to eat everything you have would instill a fear of lack of food if you don't eat everything, and telling you to hurry would make it worse by implying that you'll starve if you don't eat it all NOW."
This is also a part of it he sometimes jokingly said: if you didn't ate enough food then it's your own fault
I know he said this jokingly but i cant help but wonder if this qoute around the hollidays is a part of it too.
The moment he paid attention to me were when i cursed while playing video games. Heck when i was upset because of a broke up he told me to just get over it..
And when i was the only Child left in the house, he tried to get closer to me?
My mom Said it was a scheme to put me on a job i might not have wanted.
Then again my mom is very over protective of me. She always got scared i never came back home when i was out visiting my friends (who live across the country so travel times are mosly like 2 hours)
She also wanted me to be perfect to avoid conflict with strangers.
Because of this I wanted to be Perfect for society: have a good job, be attractive, live on your own, have a have wife and kids before you get to old.
Dont get me wrong i so want those things but i dont like the pressure i feel about it.
and because i dont have/are those things, I got the believe that i failed and sucked as a person
Both my parents also pressured me about weight loss, I know being Fat is bad and it sucks but being pressured sucks even more
Thank God 130kg is already enough for my mother.
I really didn't want to bring my parents into this as it feels like I'm blaming them for all of this but still..
I need to get rid of my parents programming how ironic it might be.
I'm also glad my mother atleast loves me even if it goes to over protection at times.
My Father died in 2016 while doing grocery shopping with my mother, He died from Torn veins at age 57.."
I just want to replace my post from General Discussion to here where it belongs but while I'm at it i might aswell try to dig some more..
But yeah.. I lost friends along the way because i never knew what to talk with them about and feeling like im just a bore even more so since i never did anything.
One friend moved away at age 14/15.. I only saw him again once he was back in my town but i needed to go home to do something. I told him I would be back but i forgot his adress..
Another thing i already told was: that last december i noticed my feeling and my logic not being in line and wondering why.. (i was at the beginning of Appetite suppresent)
