02-22-2022, 12:05 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-22-2022, 12:11 PM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
Okay so I've been noticing a lot easier time letting go of some of the most hurtful feelings regarding my exfriend. I've also noticed I'm generally less interested in the subject and exfriend as a whole. When I do have negative feelings, they're WAYY less intense than they used to be, wayy more short-lived and I'm able to much more quickly drive at the heart of the matter to see what's REALLY going on underneath that has more to do with my issues around myself. So the healing process there is DEFINITELY making progress, even if most of it IS unconscious. I can still see the differences.
As for the physical side of things, I've begun working out and my whole body hurts, but with a mixture of knocking back shit tons of meal replacement shakes when I'm not eating, as well as extra sleep and of course this subliminal, I'm noticing the delayed onset muscle soreness getting a lot better a lot quicker than has been usual in the past.
Also, I am noticing my vocals are slowly starting to be able to do certain things they stopped being able to do after damaging them for years, so I'm optimistic there, even if they still have some healing to do before getting to fully healed. Still can't sing, but I can tell my voice is healing, which gets that obstacle out of the way increasingly.
I am also just generally noticing an easier time getting to the heart of a lot of my issues in general and understanding them a lot better and how to properly address and resolve them. That's pretty big IMO.
And a lot of my issues with other people on micro, meso and macro levels are starting to turn into solutions based on focusing on what to do about myself. Again, pretty big deal to me.
I still have MUCH healing to do, but I feel like both physically and psychologically/emotionally I am making good progress.
As for that very mild swelling in my face, it's still there, whether it's real or not. I'm still seeing it. If it's body dysmorphia, I'm confident that will heal in time. If it's physical, who knows what to expect as of yet?
I should also point something out: My brother says the ripping out of my hair and eyelashes, while still prominent, is WAYY less intense and obsessive and all consuming than it once was. This has probably changed over the years. Thsi is still worth noting though, because over the years, I have been using Shannon's subs and except MLS, all the subs of his that I've been using have at least included some version of EHPRA. I think it shows how much my psychological and emotional state has improved over the years.
I am also dealing with fear better lately, since starting up on UH.
As for the physical side of things, I've begun working out and my whole body hurts, but with a mixture of knocking back shit tons of meal replacement shakes when I'm not eating, as well as extra sleep and of course this subliminal, I'm noticing the delayed onset muscle soreness getting a lot better a lot quicker than has been usual in the past.
Also, I am noticing my vocals are slowly starting to be able to do certain things they stopped being able to do after damaging them for years, so I'm optimistic there, even if they still have some healing to do before getting to fully healed. Still can't sing, but I can tell my voice is healing, which gets that obstacle out of the way increasingly.
I am also just generally noticing an easier time getting to the heart of a lot of my issues in general and understanding them a lot better and how to properly address and resolve them. That's pretty big IMO.
And a lot of my issues with other people on micro, meso and macro levels are starting to turn into solutions based on focusing on what to do about myself. Again, pretty big deal to me.
I still have MUCH healing to do, but I feel like both physically and psychologically/emotionally I am making good progress.
As for that very mild swelling in my face, it's still there, whether it's real or not. I'm still seeing it. If it's body dysmorphia, I'm confident that will heal in time. If it's physical, who knows what to expect as of yet?
I should also point something out: My brother says the ripping out of my hair and eyelashes, while still prominent, is WAYY less intense and obsessive and all consuming than it once was. This has probably changed over the years. Thsi is still worth noting though, because over the years, I have been using Shannon's subs and except MLS, all the subs of his that I've been using have at least included some version of EHPRA. I think it shows how much my psychological and emotional state has improved over the years.
I am also dealing with fear better lately, since starting up on UH.
