11-30-2021, 01:58 PM
Day 62/180
I have noticed that when I'm out and about I have this tendency of observing myself continuously and being overly critical about it. It could be something very trivial like the way I walk, look at people, the tonality of my voice or even facial expressions. People barely notice these things... My mind gives it too much importance. I realise that this is holding me back BIG TIME! Why? Because when I have social interactions I really struggle to get into a flow state and simply express my true self. By turning inward too much, I lose attention to the outside world and this sometimes leads to various awkward moments.
On the other hand, If I spend the whole night partying, having fun, getting out of my comfort zone, I stop giving any f*cks. I become more witty, spontaneous and social interactions feel like a breeze. I have made this distinction through direct experience and it's fair to say that fear plays a key role. The question is what is it that I fear exactly? What would happend if I just stopped trying to be perfect?
I have noticed that when I'm out and about I have this tendency of observing myself continuously and being overly critical about it. It could be something very trivial like the way I walk, look at people, the tonality of my voice or even facial expressions. People barely notice these things... My mind gives it too much importance. I realise that this is holding me back BIG TIME! Why? Because when I have social interactions I really struggle to get into a flow state and simply express my true self. By turning inward too much, I lose attention to the outside world and this sometimes leads to various awkward moments.
On the other hand, If I spend the whole night partying, having fun, getting out of my comfort zone, I stop giving any f*cks. I become more witty, spontaneous and social interactions feel like a breeze. I have made this distinction through direct experience and it's fair to say that fear plays a key role. The question is what is it that I fear exactly? What would happend if I just stopped trying to be perfect?
