08-26-2012, 11:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-26-2012, 11:34 PM by RainbowAbyss.)
@ Shannon -Yes you have answered my question
better than I could have imagined.
I am very aware of my reacting out of sub-conscious fear, but obviously
not very good at how to deal with it, I just recognize that there is something going on under the surface that is causing me to react in patterned and irrational ways, also my notion of facing fear with woman for example was always, approach, face the fear of approach, escalate, move through the fear of escalation etc...I've done all that 1000 times, I can say and get away with stuff with woman, especially after Alpha and SM, and have it moving things forward in a fun and 'sexually' oriented way that any body else I knew wouldn't say ever out of fear, and if they did...it probably wouldn't go over well, I never saw, until recently that my edge of fear was actually, or is actually now, a fear of intimacy and what it would mean to actually have someone meaningful in my life...I wouldn't even know who I would be to not be the 'lone ranger' so to speak, and of course the concomitant fear of rejection when I am being vulnerable is there also. Know I know-so step 1. Get off my butt and stay present...step 2. when I get the strong urge to bolt-bite the bullet and stay in the hailstorm.
I am also very aware of easily I fall into laziness when I am not positively expressing,this is a bit trickier to deal with right now since this I am basically recovering from prolonged amphetamine use, prescribed of course.
now I also know the alternatives-which I was NOT aware of, never even thought to think of them lol
stay vigilant and consciously face the fear-
and find my momentum by continuing to strive in positive expression.
That is of immense value-thank u
I pretty sure I have an aries in there to since your description of that is alot like how I use to be, and can be as well.
at one point in the future can I pay u to go through my chart-which I have somewhere but never really looked, since my mom got it for me years ago, but I didn't understand it?
one more question-which sub with LM do you think would help the most with these issues?
what about if it was between End self sabatoge, attract positive energy, or Everything is possible?
thanx again and get back to me only when the bleary eye is fully rested...
better than I could have imagined.
I am very aware of my reacting out of sub-conscious fear, but obviously
not very good at how to deal with it, I just recognize that there is something going on under the surface that is causing me to react in patterned and irrational ways, also my notion of facing fear with woman for example was always, approach, face the fear of approach, escalate, move through the fear of escalation etc...I've done all that 1000 times, I can say and get away with stuff with woman, especially after Alpha and SM, and have it moving things forward in a fun and 'sexually' oriented way that any body else I knew wouldn't say ever out of fear, and if they did...it probably wouldn't go over well, I never saw, until recently that my edge of fear was actually, or is actually now, a fear of intimacy and what it would mean to actually have someone meaningful in my life...I wouldn't even know who I would be to not be the 'lone ranger' so to speak, and of course the concomitant fear of rejection when I am being vulnerable is there also. Know I know-so step 1. Get off my butt and stay present...step 2. when I get the strong urge to bolt-bite the bullet and stay in the hailstorm.
I am also very aware of easily I fall into laziness when I am not positively expressing,this is a bit trickier to deal with right now since this I am basically recovering from prolonged amphetamine use, prescribed of course.
now I also know the alternatives-which I was NOT aware of, never even thought to think of them lol
stay vigilant and consciously face the fear-
and find my momentum by continuing to strive in positive expression.
That is of immense value-thank u
I pretty sure I have an aries in there to since your description of that is alot like how I use to be, and can be as well.
at one point in the future can I pay u to go through my chart-which I have somewhere but never really looked, since my mom got it for me years ago, but I didn't understand it?
one more question-which sub with LM do you think would help the most with these issues?
what about if it was between End self sabatoge, attract positive energy, or Everything is possible?
thanx again and get back to me only when the bleary eye is fully rested...
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
