07-03-2021, 02:08 AM
Day 2 1 loop masked
Still feeling damn aimless. I was thinking about working but nah, I need some rest from it as well. My job takes some creativity and I'm relatively fine timetable-wise. Add to that that I decided to go for a walk at dawn but couldn't quite fall asleep for a scheduled nap after the walk and I'm left feeling weird. Again.
I wonder how much of this feeling is resistance. I get this feeling of shame due to various things that I knew I wanna improve in my life, but decided to postpone it like I mentioned before. For example as my financial situation improved I became less pennywise and more loose with my money. Now I feel like I should be more conscious of my expenses even though I don't need to. And when I make conscious decision to go again that feeling I get shame.
I'll be studying myself today carefully. I have entire day ahead of me and no idea what to do with myself. I'm curious as to what I'll come up with and what I will feel inspired to do. For now it feel like killing time up until I get back to work on Monday.
Still feeling damn aimless. I was thinking about working but nah, I need some rest from it as well. My job takes some creativity and I'm relatively fine timetable-wise. Add to that that I decided to go for a walk at dawn but couldn't quite fall asleep for a scheduled nap after the walk and I'm left feeling weird. Again.
I wonder how much of this feeling is resistance. I get this feeling of shame due to various things that I knew I wanna improve in my life, but decided to postpone it like I mentioned before. For example as my financial situation improved I became less pennywise and more loose with my money. Now I feel like I should be more conscious of my expenses even though I don't need to. And when I make conscious decision to go again that feeling I get shame.
I'll be studying myself today carefully. I have entire day ahead of me and no idea what to do with myself. I'm curious as to what I'll come up with and what I will feel inspired to do. For now it feel like killing time up until I get back to work on Monday.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
