Day 34 OFF - Mon 21 June - OFF#1 - part 3
1) Think I finally managed to fall asleep around 7.30am or 8.30am I cant be too sure but I woke around 10.30am and that was it for me, I then got up and sat up enjoying youtube lol What a terrible nights sleep.
2) I think there is some anxiety within as I have an exam tomorrow or its a combination of the exam and the fact that im not reaching my goals, theres always some obstacle or hiccup on the way or it may just be the sun and heat i dunno but todays been an ok day otherwise so far.
3) There seems to be a fear or apprehension or hesitation in trying something new. For example ive lived in this uni apartment for years and never once have I connected the tv to my laptop to work from. its usually only been at the start to watch movies. It wasnt until couple of friends suggested it to me and that I saw their home offices when in the UK that I thought why the heck didnt I do this.
Based on this I brought back 2 new long phone charging cables, the USB c kind as mine have withered and will disintergrate at any time. I seem to be hesitant in trying them until my exam is over, and ive no idea why. When i think about it, its as if im afraid of things going wrong if i try them now or put thought into them and I want my mental energy and focus to be on the exams. I think well atleast I think this is the reason or thought behind it.
To me this is a fear of failure and thus perfectionism. I mentioned this in this journal too. Its clear to me that failing failure and perfectionism and procrastination and laziness are really my issues and so im hoping OF 3 really digs deep and removes this and all such fears from my mindset. That is when I will get true power!!
1) Think I finally managed to fall asleep around 7.30am or 8.30am I cant be too sure but I woke around 10.30am and that was it for me, I then got up and sat up enjoying youtube lol What a terrible nights sleep.
2) I think there is some anxiety within as I have an exam tomorrow or its a combination of the exam and the fact that im not reaching my goals, theres always some obstacle or hiccup on the way or it may just be the sun and heat i dunno but todays been an ok day otherwise so far.
3) There seems to be a fear or apprehension or hesitation in trying something new. For example ive lived in this uni apartment for years and never once have I connected the tv to my laptop to work from. its usually only been at the start to watch movies. It wasnt until couple of friends suggested it to me and that I saw their home offices when in the UK that I thought why the heck didnt I do this.
Based on this I brought back 2 new long phone charging cables, the USB c kind as mine have withered and will disintergrate at any time. I seem to be hesitant in trying them until my exam is over, and ive no idea why. When i think about it, its as if im afraid of things going wrong if i try them now or put thought into them and I want my mental energy and focus to be on the exams. I think well atleast I think this is the reason or thought behind it.
To me this is a fear of failure and thus perfectionism. I mentioned this in this journal too. Its clear to me that failing failure and perfectionism and procrastination and laziness are really my issues and so im hoping OF 3 really digs deep and removes this and all such fears from my mindset. That is when I will get true power!!
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
