I dreamed about the crew (the men's rowing team that I used to be on for a short time) team. I apologized to two guys I didn't get along with in real life, and they said they would invite me out in the next couple of weeks. I talked with the Crew guys including this tall 6'4'' guy and said the Crew team had a good impact on me. The 6'4''guy gave me a piece of paper to put into my wallet. He had a request of some sort and he was happy I liked Crew. I was going to row again with another guy who was the reason I tried out Crew in the first place. Then, there was this guy on the crew team that doesn't exist in real life that looked like my old Danish friend who was 6' something, really tall. My danish friend happened to also be there and I introduced him to this look-alike in the dream. I talked to two indian girls about apologizing to those first two guys and they said they would not have apologized. End of dream.
In real life, I didn't really leave the crew team on the best of terms because I was very vocal about how I didn't like the guys I was rowing with and that I liked the varsity more than the JV. I was older than the guys I rowed with in college so that could have been part of the reason. I was also laughing really loudly due to my emotional outbursts stemming from previously using E1 in college which caused me to change, and then at the time on the crew team I was using the old LTU and was really happy, carefree, threw my head back and laughed extremely loudly, and had anger issues that I couldn't control that were released from E1 and needed to be worked through on other subs since I had stopped E1. LTU worked on it, but I had only ran the old LTU for a semester. I think I was the happiest I ever was on LTU, but I kept getting sad that I wasn't connecting with the freshman crew guys and making friends so I gave it up after a semester. The rowing was stressful for me because I couldn't maintain a fast stroke in a race so that also contributed to me leaving. I think that if I was connecting with the guys and making friends then I would have stayed no matter how much I messed up, but that wasn't the case. It was mainly rich white people on the team, which is what my college was mainly composed of, and I didn't come from a rich background so maybe that's another reason there was a disconnect. I think I had a perception that the crew guys were entitled and had an elitist attitude which I think is true. I can't prove they were entitled but the elitist attitude was definitely in some of them. It is what it is. I'm glad I tried and then left because I learned from the experience, used rowing as part of my workouts, and actually grabbed a basketball rim for the first and only time in my life by using rowing, squatting, and running to help me jump higher which had always been a goal of mine or a dream. I don't actually like basketball but it was an outlet for me when I was younger because I didn't know much about other sports. Anyways, after I left the crew team I was happy again but was sad I wasn't making friends still. I was also going through psychosis around this time, so that hurt my chances of making friends because I was inconsiderate of other people's feelings. Too much anger leftover from E1, being happy and care-free on LTU, going through psychosis, and trying grow taller which didn't work for me caused me to change a lot and go through a transition period where I had to recalibrate my responses after I realized some people that I wanted to be friends with shied away from me because of how rambunctious I was. I struggled to make friends so I was lonely for a time in college which sucked. When I finally ran AM5 I got control of my emotions while still going through psychosis and became friends with a spanish guy who had shied away/kept it cordial with me in the past. The spanish guy and I became actual friends which made me a lot happier. This happened on the final stages of AM5 during my last semester of college. All in all, I'm guessing LTU6 is healing and clearing away some baggage from the past and helping me move on, though I thought I had moved on already. I wonder what this dream is symbolic of?
Yesterday, I hung out with my friend by going to different stores so he could buy pokemon cards, and then we went to the mall to go look at girl's butts. Not much attractive scenery at the mall when we went but I saw a few pretty girls, but my friend wasn't impressed. He wanted to see some outstanding looking girls lol. He also gave me a data science presentation which was really cool, and excited me about my path to become a data analyst and eventually a data scientist. His brother got an associate data scientist position by creating a github so that's awesome and he only has a bachelor's degree like me. Knowing that proved I can become a data scientist too if I just keep consistently putting in the work in my google data analytics certificate. I am motivated.
In real life, I didn't really leave the crew team on the best of terms because I was very vocal about how I didn't like the guys I was rowing with and that I liked the varsity more than the JV. I was older than the guys I rowed with in college so that could have been part of the reason. I was also laughing really loudly due to my emotional outbursts stemming from previously using E1 in college which caused me to change, and then at the time on the crew team I was using the old LTU and was really happy, carefree, threw my head back and laughed extremely loudly, and had anger issues that I couldn't control that were released from E1 and needed to be worked through on other subs since I had stopped E1. LTU worked on it, but I had only ran the old LTU for a semester. I think I was the happiest I ever was on LTU, but I kept getting sad that I wasn't connecting with the freshman crew guys and making friends so I gave it up after a semester. The rowing was stressful for me because I couldn't maintain a fast stroke in a race so that also contributed to me leaving. I think that if I was connecting with the guys and making friends then I would have stayed no matter how much I messed up, but that wasn't the case. It was mainly rich white people on the team, which is what my college was mainly composed of, and I didn't come from a rich background so maybe that's another reason there was a disconnect. I think I had a perception that the crew guys were entitled and had an elitist attitude which I think is true. I can't prove they were entitled but the elitist attitude was definitely in some of them. It is what it is. I'm glad I tried and then left because I learned from the experience, used rowing as part of my workouts, and actually grabbed a basketball rim for the first and only time in my life by using rowing, squatting, and running to help me jump higher which had always been a goal of mine or a dream. I don't actually like basketball but it was an outlet for me when I was younger because I didn't know much about other sports. Anyways, after I left the crew team I was happy again but was sad I wasn't making friends still. I was also going through psychosis around this time, so that hurt my chances of making friends because I was inconsiderate of other people's feelings. Too much anger leftover from E1, being happy and care-free on LTU, going through psychosis, and trying grow taller which didn't work for me caused me to change a lot and go through a transition period where I had to recalibrate my responses after I realized some people that I wanted to be friends with shied away from me because of how rambunctious I was. I struggled to make friends so I was lonely for a time in college which sucked. When I finally ran AM5 I got control of my emotions while still going through psychosis and became friends with a spanish guy who had shied away/kept it cordial with me in the past. The spanish guy and I became actual friends which made me a lot happier. This happened on the final stages of AM5 during my last semester of college. All in all, I'm guessing LTU6 is healing and clearing away some baggage from the past and helping me move on, though I thought I had moved on already. I wonder what this dream is symbolic of?
Yesterday, I hung out with my friend by going to different stores so he could buy pokemon cards, and then we went to the mall to go look at girl's butts. Not much attractive scenery at the mall when we went but I saw a few pretty girls, but my friend wasn't impressed. He wanted to see some outstanding looking girls lol. He also gave me a data science presentation which was really cool, and excited me about my path to become a data analyst and eventually a data scientist. His brother got an associate data scientist position by creating a github so that's awesome and he only has a bachelor's degree like me. Knowing that proved I can become a data scientist too if I just keep consistently putting in the work in my google data analytics certificate. I am motivated.
