04-29-2021, 09:04 PM
Day 3
For the last three days I’ve been using the hybrid trickling stream on my iPhone, playing the FLAC file at an 8/16 using Readdle Documents on the built-in speaker. Unless something comes up, that’s the plan for future days as well.
The reason that I’m doing this is because the feeling of self-hatred pain has been a 4/10 constantly for the last few days, and I think it’s actually getting a bit more front-of-awareness. My arms are still buzzing. The exhaustion that was promised is definitely here; I’m feeling quite tired.
One interesting aspect of the self-hatred pain is that it shows up for feelings of being loved, or feelings of arousal or desire. On one hand, if it weren’t for the pandemic, I would be working on getting sessions with someone to try to find a motherly energy to try to soothe the very child-like feelings of the self-hatred pain. Since that’s not happening, I’m trying to imitate this with the AoL, but any feeling of love that shows up is going to trigger things, and I know that. I’m hoping that the strength or endurance of the love aura overcomes the pain.
For the last three days I’ve been using the hybrid trickling stream on my iPhone, playing the FLAC file at an 8/16 using Readdle Documents on the built-in speaker. Unless something comes up, that’s the plan for future days as well.
The reason that I’m doing this is because the feeling of self-hatred pain has been a 4/10 constantly for the last few days, and I think it’s actually getting a bit more front-of-awareness. My arms are still buzzing. The exhaustion that was promised is definitely here; I’m feeling quite tired.
One interesting aspect of the self-hatred pain is that it shows up for feelings of being loved, or feelings of arousal or desire. On one hand, if it weren’t for the pandemic, I would be working on getting sessions with someone to try to find a motherly energy to try to soothe the very child-like feelings of the self-hatred pain. Since that’s not happening, I’m trying to imitate this with the AoL, but any feeling of love that shows up is going to trigger things, and I know that. I’m hoping that the strength or endurance of the love aura overcomes the pain.
I share the details of my life in my posts to help in the understanding of the effects of the subliminals I use. I am only open to advice that relates to the use of the subliminals.
