Something grand has happened this morning. My desire shutteddown/flatlined. Gives me a huge sense of freedom and no distraction. Very clear headed and spearheaded action taking. Nice. Almost asexual but not at all at the same time lmao
Makes it easy to just get to the tasks at hand and building.
I do have to adres the event this morning while grocery shopping. ( im tiding up my nutrition at this point, shutdown towards certain purchases happened in an instant, clean eating ftw ) there is this blond chick working there, and her response ( or rather ignoring ) shedded some light in me regarding a part of me that got in his feelings over this, like a rejection/turn down. Now, she might be on some other vibe as that she was when we initially came in contact, but yanno, womens feelings are like the wind, sinkingsand, unable to build on, other then to discipline her, guide her and basically being the pimp in her life who trains her into more stability
But I digress.
Anyway, it revealed something within me, therefore, women in this way are also a helpmate. Win. Now, im not going to push it down. I rather am going to listen, be the man guiding that part ( SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!)
Its like habits, addictions, relationships ( the game can be very dark, but I aint talking about that, lets just say, the game can be looked at as it being cruel, but again, the situation might call for it, to keep a woman ) you leave on good terms.
So, now im already practicing that to an extent, and it might not always be easy ( especially with deep ingrained co-dependency traits, that create an external gps ) but there is gold in here.
S/O to the ladies. Hate the player, not the game. It is what it is, ice cold.
Also, I was about to let journalling be for a bit, but lo and behold, the current is flowing now as I realize and notice the cogs being set in motion. Such as, making moves forward, and beinghonest and real about current live events.
Its been written on the forums before by some members, including myself, that there is a sense of "missing" or "lack" rooted in upbring, absent anything. Healing. but sometimes, it might not be that. Leaving the old in the dustmight be.
This entry gives an insight in my own psyche right now for myself, to improve where and what.
Edit: feeling mature and golden. Women's eyes are glued to mine till ridiculous levels. Feeling lowkey anger brewing, agression and seeking peoples eyes when they cross my path ( such as cutting me off in traffic ) i wont stand for that shit. Also, something beastly inside wants to come out. Idc as much about the flesh. Guys are eager to chat me up. On social media the moment I log in, women flood in as if they smell it.
Agression kicks up a notch. Also a growing sense of underachievement. Fear is being touched upon. Had another come up earlier today, which was a crucial one, a key factor. Cant remember that one.big changes are happening, are coming, and are ahead. Asking the why in habits im still having. Why am I doing it? Whats the driving factor behind it?
Im picking up on something more subtle then vibe.its like an intuitional knowing.knowing shes attracted but almost subliminally.
Makes it easy to just get to the tasks at hand and building.
I do have to adres the event this morning while grocery shopping. ( im tiding up my nutrition at this point, shutdown towards certain purchases happened in an instant, clean eating ftw ) there is this blond chick working there, and her response ( or rather ignoring ) shedded some light in me regarding a part of me that got in his feelings over this, like a rejection/turn down. Now, she might be on some other vibe as that she was when we initially came in contact, but yanno, womens feelings are like the wind, sinkingsand, unable to build on, other then to discipline her, guide her and basically being the pimp in her life who trains her into more stability
But I digress.
Anyway, it revealed something within me, therefore, women in this way are also a helpmate. Win. Now, im not going to push it down. I rather am going to listen, be the man guiding that part ( SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!)
Its like habits, addictions, relationships ( the game can be very dark, but I aint talking about that, lets just say, the game can be looked at as it being cruel, but again, the situation might call for it, to keep a woman ) you leave on good terms.
So, now im already practicing that to an extent, and it might not always be easy ( especially with deep ingrained co-dependency traits, that create an external gps ) but there is gold in here.
S/O to the ladies. Hate the player, not the game. It is what it is, ice cold.
Also, I was about to let journalling be for a bit, but lo and behold, the current is flowing now as I realize and notice the cogs being set in motion. Such as, making moves forward, and beinghonest and real about current live events.
Its been written on the forums before by some members, including myself, that there is a sense of "missing" or "lack" rooted in upbring, absent anything. Healing. but sometimes, it might not be that. Leaving the old in the dustmight be.
This entry gives an insight in my own psyche right now for myself, to improve where and what.
Edit: feeling mature and golden. Women's eyes are glued to mine till ridiculous levels. Feeling lowkey anger brewing, agression and seeking peoples eyes when they cross my path ( such as cutting me off in traffic ) i wont stand for that shit. Also, something beastly inside wants to come out. Idc as much about the flesh. Guys are eager to chat me up. On social media the moment I log in, women flood in as if they smell it.
Agression kicks up a notch. Also a growing sense of underachievement. Fear is being touched upon. Had another come up earlier today, which was a crucial one, a key factor. Cant remember that one.big changes are happening, are coming, and are ahead. Asking the why in habits im still having. Why am I doing it? Whats the driving factor behind it?
Im picking up on something more subtle then vibe.its like an intuitional knowing.knowing shes attracted but almost subliminally.
