Back after a long break - Overcoming Fear

[Shannon]

@Shannon  Could it be possible that certain sexual behaviors or even neediness towards women be because of trauma?
For example, let's say as a child, you caught your parents having sex or other people and you associate sex with hurting women and you end up repressing your sexuality. You subconsciously learn that sex is a bad and violent act. You end up as a man afraid of expressing his sexuality and interest towards women.

Let's first analyze what you used as an example.  I'm going to presume this is your situation, but if it's not, then take this for what it is worth.

You say you caught parents or someone else having sex, and associated it with hurting women, and you "subconsciously learn that sex is a bad and violent act".

There is a point to bring up here.  To learn something, it must be true.  It is only possible to conclude something if it is not true.  You cannot "learn" that sex is bad, if it's not; you can conclude, based on either misunderstanding or faulty logic, that it is bad.

Sex is what you make it.  You can use sex to do harm, and you can use sex to express the deepest and most intimate of love.  You can use sex to manipulate, and you can use sex to come together to create a life out of deep love between the participants.  Saying that "sex is bad" is about like saying that "light is green".  

So in this case, if we are dealing with your situation, what you're really saying is this:

For example, let's say as a child, you caught your parents having sex or other people and you [came to] associate sex with hurting women and you end up repressing your sexuality. You subconsciously [misunderstand and conclude] that sex is a bad and violent act. You end up as a man afraid of expressing his sexuality and interest towards women.

Now that we have re-framed this accurately, you may see this differently.  The issue isn't that sex is bad.  The issue is that you had experiences that introduced you to sex in a way that, without previous understanding, you may have misunderstood or misinterpreted.  Concluding that "sex is bad" is a sweeping generalization based on very limited knowledge and understanding, and ALL SWEEPING GENERALIZATIONS ARE FALSE.

All cars are ____.  This is only true if you say they're all cars.
All men are ____.  This is only true if you say they're all men.
All (pick your anything) are ___.  This is again, only true if you say they are the thing they are.

Now to answer your original question:

@Shannon  Could it be possible that certain sexual behaviors or even neediness towards women be because of trauma?

Absolutely.  In fact that is quite common.  If you, for example, caught your father having sex with your babysitter and your mother found out and responded with "I'm hurt by this" signals, you might associate sex with cheating, betrayal, infidelity, "bad", and hurting mom (females?), if the "you" who is experiencing that is young enough that the ability to think logically is not well developed, and or you have a personality that tends to be more of an emotional thinker than a logical thinker, and or you have no previous experience of sex to use to frame the experience.

The trauma of said situation would be even more if you were taught that women are helpless delicate flowers and they should be treated with kindness and consideration, and then you caught your father engaged in rough BDSM sex with said babysitter, doing things that would normally be associated with hurting someone else.  

It would be enhanced even further if you were very young and had very limited ability to understand what was going on based on your development and lack of previous experience to contextualize the things you saw.

If all you know of sex is one traumatic experience, that you associate with hurting people, and you're maybe 3 or 4 years old (could be other ages too, but for example), then you're going to likely be traumatized by that experience, which will produce intense negative emotions, which will cause that experience to crystallize within you, and because it crystallizes, it becomes a central focus for how you respond in the future in an effort to protect yourself and others from having that experience again.

If your father was choking her out while slapping her face, screaming obscenities at her and fucking her roughly - because she liked and was sexually aroused by being treated that way - she may be enjoying and even getting off on it, at the same time you may have concluded that it was "hurting her".