08-11-2012, 05:26 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-11-2012, 05:26 AM by LionMonkey.)
Stage 5 - Day 10
Recently, my awareness over how my sexual side of myself has become blurred. Though my awareness over relationships and how women talk with each other have increased.
I've been traveling around in China and been a week in Thailand since start July. I've been holding myself back and being with and following the "crowd" most of the time, which is my family. It's because of the culture and because how I get food, trips, hotel stays thrown at me, without me doing anything for them.
It feels strange.. I can live like this for a month but I'll be happy when I get back to Scandinavia. It's like me without doing any conscious effort and everything is free (you are sorta bound to them though). I can't put words on how I feel about it.
Throughout my time here, I've had these subtle thoughts saying to me, who am I really? What defines me?
"This is my life, and everyone else is just a part of it" this belief has been rocked very much. I've been doubting myself a lot when I have gone out by myself...
Since the start of SM, I've slept with several women, one night standish, who were VERY different, that it's actually quite funny and when I think about it.. I would never have the thought of sleeping with a few of them before SM...
It has lead me to less neediness of sex because I realized that it is not THAT great because it wasn't talking to my heart with most of them.
"Satisfaction is the death of desire" speaks to me a lot more now.. I guess it has given me something in my arsenal in seduction and I'm more ready to find a girlfriend for real
The only obstacle I can think of, is my bad patience of the time-interval when meeting a girl to kissing her to bedding her...
- LM
Recently, my awareness over how my sexual side of myself has become blurred. Though my awareness over relationships and how women talk with each other have increased.
I've been traveling around in China and been a week in Thailand since start July. I've been holding myself back and being with and following the "crowd" most of the time, which is my family. It's because of the culture and because how I get food, trips, hotel stays thrown at me, without me doing anything for them.
It feels strange.. I can live like this for a month but I'll be happy when I get back to Scandinavia. It's like me without doing any conscious effort and everything is free (you are sorta bound to them though). I can't put words on how I feel about it.
Throughout my time here, I've had these subtle thoughts saying to me, who am I really? What defines me?
"This is my life, and everyone else is just a part of it" this belief has been rocked very much. I've been doubting myself a lot when I have gone out by myself...
Since the start of SM, I've slept with several women, one night standish, who were VERY different, that it's actually quite funny and when I think about it.. I would never have the thought of sleeping with a few of them before SM...
It has lead me to less neediness of sex because I realized that it is not THAT great because it wasn't talking to my heart with most of them.
"Satisfaction is the death of desire" speaks to me a lot more now.. I guess it has given me something in my arsenal in seduction and I'm more ready to find a girlfriend for real
The only obstacle I can think of, is my bad patience of the time-interval when meeting a girl to kissing her to bedding her...- LM
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
