Transcendental Sith Lord's E4 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Well, I'm back and think i need to explain where I'm choosing to go from here. I should mention real quick I have been off the sub for about 2 weeks because I did want to see if the results are permanent. I'm glad to say they are.

So unfortunately my current job in China decided they won't offer me even an reduced paycheck per month anymore. They will only start paying me when I'm in China. So, basically I have two options now: talk to the embassy and if they say based on the documents I have at the moment I can go to China then I will just borrow money from relatives and then try to go there (have to pay for expensive flights at the moment and a 14 day quarantine when I arrive). The second option is I first get a job here for 1-4 months then head back when its easier to do so while saving up money.

I have made one choice for certain though despite which I pick I will be going back to the online university I graduated from in order to study Computer Science (probably study some other programming languages as well on the side). I decided this recently because my confidence is pretty high and I've gotten to the point where I feel like I deserve a better standard of living in life and I deserve to have a very high end style of living. I think because E4 has gotten rid of a major fear that I'm able to do this now. My major fear that kept me from pursuing educating myself in something that would pay even more is because a fear of failing. I feared doing something that would be difficult or hard because it would increase the chance of failing and I hate failure. I think now though with the change in perspective I realize that failure is just part of the process now. Failure isn't final unless you make it final.

I realized too that i value growing stronger, learning to adapt my thinking to situations, and growing more powerful as more valuable than about anything else. Actually continually improving myself is more important than say chasing sex or putting some external ideology above myself (which I had done in the past). So I'm ready to improve myself now so that I can have a better lifestyle that I feel I deserve. Even though I do enjoy my teaching gig (and I will return to it as soon as China opens up and finish up this contract) and the money is decent I believe now I deserve more. I think funny enough this is why I might have drawn that friend back into my life. If you guys remember I said a few weeks ago there was a friend from a long time ago who had a dream about me then scoured the internet trying to find out how he could contact me again. Turns out he is in the IT/programming field himself. He works in the devsops field making good money. He also is working on his master's degree and having an house built for himself at the same time.

I talked to him and another guy I know for info since they have gone further in those fields than I. He told me to go for the CS degree (out of the IT related degrees my university offers) and possibly if I wanted to still do cloud computing, etc just get the cert afterwards. Seems like if you have the experience, skills, etc the field is good to be in. He's only been in for a few years and he just recently got offered an remote job (he lives in rural North Virginia) offering 160K USD per year. Also this would still allow me to branch out into Artificial intelligence and Genetic engineering later if I want (Certain masters programs in Genetics will still allow you in if your bachelors is in CS, etc).

So, after I'm done with this contract at the school possibly I might do 1 of two things: (1) work remotely if I can while living in Asia for a while or (2) immigrate to another English speaking country with good CS prospects (New Zealand, Canada, UK, or Australia). Will probably work in high paying jobs like this for a few years until I switch over to Artificial intelligence or Genetic engineering in the future.

I'm very interesting in pursuing this as well because E4 has shown me (or more like following the "instructions" has shown me) that you can only improve, grow stronger and learn to adapt by facing challenges and facing difficult situations not by fearing to face those things. Not by just staying in your comfort zone the whole time. What came to my mind recently was something Shannon said a long time ago when he was explaining about the transcendent Alpha. He used the example of an well made Katana. The ingredients that make the Katana aren't very nice or good to look at themselves but in the process of making it (which takes hard work and delicate handling) they can be made into a very beautiful looking and refined Katana. Unfortunately most people rather just be the piece of ore that makes the Katana because being made into the Katana takes a process that is difficult, hard and sometimes means being placed in uncomfortable situations.

I think E4 has brought me past that point. My un-satisfaction with being a piece of ore now outweighs my fear of the process of becoming a Katana. Metaphorically speaking I believe I deserve to be the refined Katana now. I feel like internally I am the katana and my external environment should reflect that.

So with all that said and given my circumstances I will have to move on to another sub as I need to find a job (most likely) in the mean time while I wait to go back to China then use some money to also work on getting an degree and certs in the field (which I do have some experience with so that is good I think). I would wait until at least UMS is out but I don't think I can afford to wait that long any longer. Already applied for local jobs so just waiting on getting called back which good luck in this economy. I think I might go back to running old UMS and then once I start my new degree I will switch to old MLS as I feel like I might be able to get the best out of those subs now that I cleared a bunch of junk.

Either way I'm really glad that I ran both OF and then E4 as the improvement in tech really helped me out and got me to this point to now I feel I can run something else and get the most benefit out of it. I'm a totally different person than I was a few months ago which is totally different from previous tech which took maybe a year where I would notice change. Anyway I would highly recommend E4 if people are looking to clear out junk beliefs and lay the ground work for subs they might run afterwards.