09-09-2020, 03:32 PM
Stage 1, Session 5, Day 3
@Shannon, I pulled this quote from a OF thread in the User Journals. I'm posting it since the DRS is in LTU too, but I'm wondering how I can be nicer to myself.
Today I worked alone, but things went poorly for me (work truck broke down and I feared asking others for help), and I began treating myself poorly like I imagined others were thinking about me. I get this sense that it was either me accepting the imagined judgements from others, thinking they were right, and giving it to myself "because I deserved it" AND/OR I hurt myself first in an imagined effort to stall or avoid imagined punishment from others. The latter choice allows me some control in the matter, even though my choices did not benefit me.
I have a fear of asking for help now, but I've never dealt with being so self-critical using any sub so far. I realize I've been sweeping negative feelings and thoughts under the rug for eons, and maybe the detox piece is taking this hideout ability away. I'd give it a 5-7 on a 10 point stress scale, though ---wow, my fear--I realized that I am fearful of completely feeling and expressing my own feelings. Sitting with the stress scale for a minute, I thought of a user here who's done AM6 in the past, and after trying to be tough on himself (for multiple weeks), he just broke in to tears. That was exactly what he needed. I've not allowed that breakthrough yet, but with this beating myself up scenario, it feels like something is building up on me.
After writing all that, I reread it and interpreted my writing like "something's wrong with LTU". What's wrong, and the only thing I see wrong here, is me not allowing myself to fully go through this yet. And I'm realizing that the habit of holding myself back has created more fear, anxiety, dishonesty, and avoidance in my life than anything else, bar NONE. I don't feel good holding everything in, and I really never have. Change is at the door knocking.
Thought I'd share this.
(09-09-2020, 07:56 AM)Shannon Wrote: By the way, only talking about the positive changes is not going to give me any feedback if you need help or I need to improve my programs. If you experience anything negative using my programs, please let me know so I can help.
The safe space you feel, that prevents insults from affecting you, is a module in Overcoming Fear known as the Directional Reflection Shield. It creates a bubble of "safe space" around you that prevents negative energy and influence from reaching and affecting you. This is extremely important for Overcoming Fear, because a lot of times people "learn" to fear based on subtle psychological and energetic attacks and manipulations they receive from others without ever knowing it. So it provides you a safe space in which to successfully overcome the fears, without having others triggering them all the time through manipulation tactics.
@Shannon, I pulled this quote from a OF thread in the User Journals. I'm posting it since the DRS is in LTU too, but I'm wondering how I can be nicer to myself.
Today I worked alone, but things went poorly for me (work truck broke down and I feared asking others for help), and I began treating myself poorly like I imagined others were thinking about me. I get this sense that it was either me accepting the imagined judgements from others, thinking they were right, and giving it to myself "because I deserved it" AND/OR I hurt myself first in an imagined effort to stall or avoid imagined punishment from others. The latter choice allows me some control in the matter, even though my choices did not benefit me.
I have a fear of asking for help now, but I've never dealt with being so self-critical using any sub so far. I realize I've been sweeping negative feelings and thoughts under the rug for eons, and maybe the detox piece is taking this hideout ability away. I'd give it a 5-7 on a 10 point stress scale, though ---wow, my fear--I realized that I am fearful of completely feeling and expressing my own feelings. Sitting with the stress scale for a minute, I thought of a user here who's done AM6 in the past, and after trying to be tough on himself (for multiple weeks), he just broke in to tears. That was exactly what he needed. I've not allowed that breakthrough yet, but with this beating myself up scenario, it feels like something is building up on me.
After writing all that, I reread it and interpreted my writing like "something's wrong with LTU". What's wrong, and the only thing I see wrong here, is me not allowing myself to fully go through this yet. And I'm realizing that the habit of holding myself back has created more fear, anxiety, dishonesty, and avoidance in my life than anything else, bar NONE. I don't feel good holding everything in, and I really never have. Change is at the door knocking.
Thought I'd share this.
I want to be FREE!
