Findingme: LTU6

[findingme]

It stumped me when I first read it.

Ok, time to get honest.

Before and after I wrote that this morning.......I was afraid. Fearful of being honest and getting hurt. "Stumped" was codeword for "scared to be honest"

I'd thought about your post Shannon, and I first took on the "I've gotta dig, dig, dig" to find my issue, when I actually knew the biggest fear I've carried all my life: being abandoned. Even now, listening to Stage 1, I get flashes of childhood memories, mostly revolving around my brother. I know in times past I've dwelled on that old trauma of abandonment, but in the last year, I've not had to go there.

It may be detracting from my point above--but not really: I love how listening to these subs allows stuff to drift forward, the VERY things I've tried to bury, yet they steer me anyway. That same trauma has had me react covertly a lot here by doing things which I knew would attract negative attention, when I usually love being light and easygoing with people. Like in essence, I was looking for a fight, validation of my imagined fears, or more commonly, pity.

I also realized while sitting here that I miss my Mom, a bittersweet relationship I tried to pull away from constantly. My mom was doom and gloom too, stuck in her old traumas on constant recycle. I guess I'm working through something, for she impacted my thinking and actions a ton. I knew she abandoned me emotionally from a very young age, and I've not thought of that for almost a year.

And lastly, I wrote "dig, dig, dig" above. While on your subs, I've never really had to go "look" or "dig" to find my issues. They usually bubble right up, and I'm very rarely surprised. This was why I began with IML, and it's why I'm on LTU6 now. You have a gift for scripting for emotional issues, making it gentle, bearable, and ultimately, life-changing. I've experimented with other vendors, but your subs are the whole package, and I thank you for that. Thank you for keeping the whole person in mind and continuing to learn new things daily. The fruit of that comes out in your subliminals.

Gonna stop now. Feeling cheezy.